Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
I don't have a linen closet, so I often invest my precious time on kijiji looking at things that I don't need. Things that other people bought, and now they don't really want anymore, so they are hoping that maybe I want them so that I give them money and they can go out and buy something that they really need now. Or just kind of want.
It fills sort of a niche market for weird people who fancy a bit of a sociological study in their moments of boredom.
And you thought it was a waste of time.
Recently, I've had a deeper reason for kijiji. I noticed one day that my lastborn wasn't three years old anymore, and was looking a bit like he'd been forgotten in a Cairo prison, the way he squished onto his ancient fourandahalf inch iron frame bed that's been in the family since the kids were twinkles in their daddy's eye. He and his brother share a room that's not really a room at all- more like a large landing at the top of the stairs. To my knowledge, they'd never noticed this reality. Perhaps it allowed Sam to disregard the rather restrictive nature of his bed for all this time- the fact that his "bedroom" has no door or closet detracted from the prison-esque quality of his sleeping quarters.
So, to delay the demand for an actual room to sleep in, I thought I should possibly invest in a mates bed. A sort of bed/dresser to make his stay in the open concept hallway room a little more pleasant.
This need has increased the frequency of my forays into kijiji, and recently, I came across a profoundly insightful advertisement.:
Need a grad dress? are you selling a queen bed room suite??
swap/tradeHello, I have a beauitful size 5/6 (will fit up to a size 3-6; I know cause thats my normal sizes) high end desinger dress that retails for $1130.00. I'm willing to trade it for a nice queen sized bedroom suite,we dont need a mattress or boxspring at all. Preferably: headboard & footboard, dresser, nightstand, wardrobe closet, ect. Must be all in great condition and modern. Please send me a email with what you have to offer. Thanks for looking!
So last year, someone needed to spend One Thousand, One Hundred, and Thirty dollars on a shiny dress.
This year, she would prefer to own a modern queen sized bedroom suite.
Next year, she'll prefer to swap her NICE bedroom suite for a post-secondary education.
And I am left thinking I've not been using my kijiji hours to their highest advantage.
I also have a daughter in neeeeed of a graduation dress.
After that she'll need a university education.
Maybe I should look into swapping that old iron bed.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
- my wardrobe is always laid out..... on the floor beside my bed. I have been known to wear the very same pants for four and five days consecutively.
- I never have to pack a lunch. Sometimes I start lunch at 11:00 am with a couple of peanut butter cookies, make a sandwich around noon, and then wrap the whole works up with vanilla yogurt, peanuts and raisins, and some licorice allsorts for dessert. It helps that I never see all the food in one place, ever.
- I have an inappropriately close relationship with my dishwasher. I love it with a wild and unreserved passion.
- When its minus twenty-nine degrees outside, I make my third pot of coffee, pull a pair of wool socks on under my four day old pants, and pretend that on the weekend I'll take the kids sledding. I won't. I'll go thrift shopping, but I'll plan to start being a really great parent starting on Saturday, when I'm sure the weather will be much milder.
- I make a lot of toast. The thing about toast is that it is hot and smells like bread, and therefore creates the impression that a hot meal has lovingly been prepared. Besides, I love crusts. Dipped in peanut butter.
- I can put together sentences like this: "Hey! Where are you going-- I wasn't done lecturing you yet!"
- I have an extremely low cosmetics overhead. Or on-my-head. After showering in the morning, I generally forget to look in the mirror, unless I can sneak a peak at whether my thighs have swollen any further or my butt has fallen ever steadily in its descent towards my dimpled knees.
- I'm always here for my offspring to snarl at when they come home from school. Actually, I'm pretty much always available for general snarling.
- I get to watch Chicken Run, Ratatouille , Wallace and Gromit, and Flushed Away as often as I please. In my four day old pants, while sneaking licorice from my pocket.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
- I managed to address a few things that are imperfect in my profession. Maybe even thinking of some changes I can make in the future to make this machine run a little more smoothly. I'm not a very systematic thinker, so that's saying something.
- I took another look at my body. That's a funny thing to say, because I look at it every day. And often with disdain. This particular look was more objective, and less hateful. I've been vascilating between disgust and acceptance of this flesh for the past 44 years or so, and so I've been taking a look at my body, the organ with a slightly different perspective. Because I often don't like the way I feel living in this bundle cells and whatnot, I wondered if that feeling would change at all if I were to grow stronger? Not necessarily smaller, but stronger.
- So I took another look at the treadmill. (rawr). And I've been climbing aboard reasonably consistently for the past number of weeks. Yes, I know its January, and everyone says that in January. But the fierce bit in this for me is the NOT GIVING UP. The continued effort and energy being spent on searching for wellness in mind and body.
- I asked some questions, even though I was pretty sure I didn't want to know the answers. Sometimes answers really hurt, even though you suspected them all along. (rawr, whimper)
- I started working on my Etsy shop. Yes, indeedy, I have plans. Plans to move the bags4darfur project over to etsy- streamline the payment methods, have a seperate bank account, and open up a little vintage shop. I'm scared. Because I'm a woos that way and I'm not the best at learning new things. (rawr)
Sunday, January 08, 2012
. I don't have much except the phrase above. BE FIERCE.. Don't worry - I'm not going to race around scatching people in the eyeballs and roaring like a beast. I'm not going to be mean or nasty. I'm simply going to be FIERCE. Doubt has this ridiculous way of being a sly creeper. Making edges soft and shining a little light on hesitation. Denial. Passiveness. Life is too short for that stuff and I don't like to waste the goodness I've been blessed with. SO. I plan to be fierce + uncomfortable. I plan to be fierce + assertive.
Yikes. That sort of sounds sort of FIERCE.
I like it.
These are not my words, but this reflects my desire.
There are a number of areas in my life in which I need (want, desire the courage) to approach with a fierce sort of courage. Some areas that are holding me back, pressing me down, keeping me small. I'm so afraid to be honest about these areas, but I'm terribly tired of being held hostage by them.
Rest is good. And acknowledging that I've really been too afraid to effectively come clean and address and fully examine these facets of my life is "ok". I've been in that place of resting and being afraid for long enough though.