2. And because of that glorious sunshine, I dressed up five pre-schoolers and took a walk to my favourite place on earth- the thrift shop. The children loved it- all those "new" toys to look at, all those snow mountains to climb up and down all the way back, and we found a little pink care bear to add to our caring collection.
Brian and I have a meeting to go to tonight. It's about packing. For our kids? No, not this time.
4. With number three in mind-- finding my Birkenstock sandals and summer dresses in the garage. I remember summer days in breezy t-shirt dresses, the sun shining on my weary skin. I anticipate that feeling again....in a short three weeks!
5. Hauling kids and kid equipment through the deep backyard snow and feeling a new strength in my legs. I've been reasonably faithful walking uphill on the treadmill for the past several months. I did not want to arrive in Ecuador with 100% of blubber folds jangling around under my skirts; puffing and gasping up and down mountains and volcanoes and thinking: "Why didn't I prep for this?!"
And one sad. My thighs still look like hell, the cellulite and fat folds steadily advancing and conquering, treadmill notwithstanding. The sad part is how I never get used to it, never really move beyond it, never fully recover from the obsessions, preoccupations, and destructive fantasy life. I cope, I don't allow it to disable me entirely, I grasp constantly towards wellness, acceptance, and a renewed mind. I wear what I want to and what I feel happy and comfortable in. And then I have nightmares, both real and figurative.
I have a feeling I should have ended on a happy note; this feels kind of anti-climatic. How about this? For my first holiday with my husband since our honeymoon, I am not going to a resort where I'll constantly feel dreadful about my physical self. I'm not going to an all inclusive where I'd eat and drink too much and then hate myself. (Although I'd love to do that sometime!). I am going to an ancient city, visiting a live volcano, visiting a super old cathedral, going to a massive indigenous outdoor market, staying in a hotel that offers massage, eating breakfast in the basement that used to be a dungeon, going on lots of hikes, eating empanadas, fresh bread and cheese, and drinking cheap beer.
And I'm completely sure no one will give a rat's ass about my lumpy bits. Maybe not even me.