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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

whine whine whine

You people don't know how much I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed you.
You are my only connection to the outside world.

Aside from pumpkin pie and tapioca pudding (my latest favourite comfort foods), I have no friends. No one to serve me that pudding on a tray. Or rub my feet. Or my shoulders.

I am, of course, lying. It only feels like I have never been outside of this house. (the swimming pool for kids lessons doesn't count. Neither does Superstore or McGavins Bread Basket. Or the Steinbach Arts Council, waiting for children's lessons to conclude.)

I'm sure that there are moments where I am not fighting the ever losing battle of taking everyone's crap off my counter and finding places for all their crap. I'm sure there have been days when the deck doesn't hold three bags of garbage and one bag of recycling because I fear leaving the house long enough to put them into the bins at the side of the house. (and no. I'm not afraid of leaving the house per se. I'm afraid of what myriad toddlers will do while I leave for 19 seconds.) I'm sure that eventually I will find time to put away the summer furniture that's outside rusting on that garbage- strewn deck. Did I mention that the deck is rotting? I'm sure that someday we'll make another gargantuan loan and build another deck.

Then again.
If I went out, there would likely be mirrors. I'd notice that my clothes are pathetic. My latest haircut a disaster. (and I had such high hopes...) My colour a beastly grey. (I recently bought some make-up at Shoppers. Turns out that it only works if you apply it.) I'd notice my saddle bags, love handles, and the way I walk- like a lumberjack in heels.

I'll have to limit myself to outings that include beverages.
Maybe I'll live large right now, and pour myself a water while I dash out to the garbage cans in the rain.

hmmmph. This lady needs a party.

More on that later; for now-- Keep Saturday, November 14 open.
No excuse is a good excuse.


Lisa said...

I'm sorry your feeling so blah Joyce. Remember.........the sun will come out tomorrow........or maybe the next day or the next or the next......

As for the party, Yipeeeeeeeee. Can't wait. I found the most amazingly ugly, er, I mean beautiful things at our local department store. I bought them in faith that you would be hosting another party this year!

rmvisser said...

I'll save the 14th but there better be more garbage and recycling out on the rotting deck or i won't believe you.

Kristine said...

the guys at work told me I walk like a wookie, I'm still not sure if they were teasing or not. Doesn't help that Erik and Mike's nickname for me is 'Sasquatch' either. I think you're beautiful auntie Joyce, I would have absolutely no problem growing up to be someone like you

joyce said...

Lisa, I've been having daydreams of the hallucinogenic quality, just dreaming of being able to get to our local mall and find some ugliness. *sigh* Didn't you say the sun would come out today? WEll, no. you didn't say that, exactly.

Michele- how about an old couch thrown over the side of the rotting deck? Maybe I could get a dog and two cats to piss on it too...

Kristine, you really should be at my 4th (3rd?) annual ugly sweater party.
I take comfort in the notion that you walk like a wookie sasquatch. I've never ever noticed that, I've been so distracted by your raw beauty. (thank you for being so kind. You made my throat lump at 6:56 am...)

Heather Plett said...

Oh darn, I'll be on a whirlwind tour of Alberta and Saskatchewan (4 cities in 4 days - yup, I know how to have a good time) on the 14th. And I was so determined to BE AT YOUR NEXT PARTY! :-(

Karla said...

Yah baby. I'll be there. Try to look all pasty and grey for the party. I like you that way.

Judy said...

I'll be in Michigan.

Wearing an ugly sweater for sure.

They are required here, it seems.