The Exercise of Exorcise.

October 10-  fifteen days ago Meghan Trainor's "All about That Bass" had me singing and bopping along in my car as I rode along.  But fifteen days straight of that same song relentlessly playing itself over and over and over in my head has got me craving an exorcism.

I've put on other music, forced myself to mentally sing "happy birthday" over and over again, read books, and shoved the end of a protractor through my eardrums.  But nothing, no nothing with change the tune that goes round and round and round in my head.

And with each morning of waking up and hoping that its gone, I'm freshly disappointed and compelled beyond reason to sing about booty and boom boom.  You might say I've meditated on these lyrics both day and night for half the month now.  And in my unwilling meditative state, I've decided a few things about Bringing Booty Back.

Because you know I'm all about that bass,
'Bout that bass, no treble
I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble
I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble
I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass

Firstly.  What do bass and treble have to do with anything?  Well.  A quick look at the googlers brought me this bit of wisdom:  

" The "bass" she's all about is a reference to curves–bass tends to be deep and big"

So it follows that "no treble" means that there's nothing skinny and small about her.  Ok, I get that.

Yeah it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two
But I can shake it, shake it like I'm supposed to do
'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
All the right junk in all the right places

I'm still with you, Meghan.  I'm not a size two either, good grief.  That would mean not eating even ever.  Forget it.  

Can't say we'll be be besties on the whole shake it, shake it thingie- that's really not in my skill set.  Just ask my kids.  I suppose I do have boom boom and junk in places....  I guess.  But I'm starting to feel a wee bit uncomfortable that your song about body acceptance (which I dig) is still suggesting that we should make sure our bodies are pleasing and desirable to "all the boys".  Hmmmmm.

I see the magazines working that Photoshop
We know that shit ain't real
Come on now, make it stop
If you got beauty beauty just raise 'em up
'Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top

Sing it!

I can even feel myself shaking it a little, activate booty and boom boom!

Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your size
She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night
You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll,
So, if that's what's you're into
Then go ahead and move along

so..... we should have curvy curves for the boys?!

Because you know I'm all about that bass,
'Bout that bass, no treble
I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble
I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble
I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass

I'm bringing booty back
Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches Hey
No, I'm just playing I know you think you're fat,
But I'm here to tell you that,
Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top

Hold on.

would a song with the line:  "Go ahead and tell them fat bitches" make it to  the number-two spot on the Billboard Hot 100–??  Wouldn't we all be instantly offended at a lyric like that?  How come its ok to hate on little people now?

Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your size
She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night
You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll,

So, if that's what's you're into
Then go ahead and move along

I tell you what-  I appreciate the momma who tells her girls not to worry about their size.  I just really wish she didn't make it about being sexually available and pleasing for the boys.

I wish we had more songs about brains and enough-ness, compassion and determination.  Not that they'd be popular.  But what if songs with powerful and positive messages did get stuck in my brain?  would it help me to get over my booty?

Because you know I'm all about that bass,
'Bout that bass, no treble
I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble
I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble
I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass

Cuz I'm all about getting that bass to go ahead and move along.

Thank you for being a part of this exorcise.