This morning my friend Josie (with a big old grin on her gorgeous face) slipped me a photocopied note entitled: "Body Acceptance in 6 easy steps". A few hours later, my friend Jacquie e-mailed me some "facts on figures" which include these: There are 3 billion women who don't look like super models and only eight who do. If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions! The average woman weighs 144 lbs, and wears between a size 12-14. Models weigh 23% less than the average woman. One out of every 4 college-aged women has an eating disorder.
I appreciate these friendly reminders that we are worth more than the sum of our parts. I believe this wholeheartedly and with my intellect, but there are quite a few loose wires between my heart and my brain.
I suffer from "lady lust". It's a fairly new diagnosis and may not yet have been published in the DSM, but I HAVE THE CONDITION and therefore know it to exist. The symptoms include "checking out" other women and wanting to OWN certain features that they own. This leads into obsessive thinking about how I could manipulate my own inferior parts to be more like those of the other woman. Usually at this point, I come to for a minute and tell myself to shut up and get over it. I remind myself of all the helpful tips that Jacquie sent me, about how many fascinating and brilliant women I know are round in all the wrong places, about how the body is so temporary, so terribly shallow, and how I would so not like to be obsessing about it. Then there is this evil little corner of my psyche that says, "right, now where was I?- Oh, yeah!! I was scheming about how I could lose ten pounds, run four times this week, but effectively hide this evil plan from the people in my life who know me well enough to know that dieting is from the devil!"
I'm real happy to know about all those airbrushed supermodels with eating disorders whose lives are a hungry mess. I get that the beauty of a woman lies not in the clothes she wears, or the figure she carries, but has something to do with her heart and her character, blah, blah, blah. And I want to be a really sweet gal who blesses everyone on her floral pathway through life.
I just want to be that in a skinny body.
Lady lust.
10 comments:
I just read about a model who does the "plus-size" thing, weighs 165 pounds, etc etc. A few years ago she was 98 pounds and modelling other stuff.
One side of my mouth says, wow, that's healthy. The other side of my mouth reminds me that I would never be caught DEAD walking into a plus-size store. Unless, of course, I was shopping with someone who wears XXX.
There's something wrong with this picture.....
haha - I enjoyed this. (found you through Brian, via Cream, via someone else..... you know how it is).
The Body Shop did an ad. campaign a few years ago about body image - Barbie sued them in the USA! I'll see if I can put a link in here
Those super-models have professionals to make them look good.
You, Joyce, can cut your own hair to within an inch of its scalp and look stunning without any props or gadgets. What they don't have is your fab smile, illuminating warmth and terrific bone structure. My advice therefore would be to go everywhere by car and only ever let people see you from the neck up xx
Carl-heintz: Hypocracy- our common middle name.
Lettuce: (love the name, it is an allowable food group....) Love the link.
Cherrypie: I love love love you. That's all I can say.
Want some more 'feel good' news?
http://homepage.mac.com/gapodaca/digital/bikini/index.html
Roll your mouse over the picture to see what she really looks like under all that makeup.
Her abs are still awesome though...I hate her. :oP
Hugs to a beautiful woman!
I love this post.
I'm working on a post about trying to uphold standards and values that are not supported by society at large...and the impact it has on me. And this is one of the things...beauty!
Sometimes we are left with a choice...agree with society or be an outcast. The threat of isolation is a powerful shaping tool!
I love all the links that all you invisible friends left for me. And Bobita, I greatly anticipate reading your blog that you described. For me, I think the obsession has less to do with cultural pressures and "looks" and more to do with feeling powerful. I'm sure that lie is reinforced by cultural pressures too. Why else would I believe that my size is a reflection of my inadequasy/power?
Great post. Thanks.
Oh, my goodness, I've thought it but never had a name for it. Now I do: Lady Lust. You are so completely right - we all do it.
I arrived via the Queen of Spain.
I would venture to further Bobita's comment about isolation and suggest that we may be afraid of confidence and power. I mean, how would YOU feel if some woman came to a party and clearly felt fabulous in her body. Wouldn't you automatically hate her?, or would we wish we were more like that?
I love the idea of "lady lust." It's amazing how ubiquitous it is.
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