A Short Tutorial on Housekeeping

A. Picking rhubarb, cutting rhubarb, finding a rhubarb recipe, then placing said items on the counter for one to three days does not currently, and will not ever, produce rhubarb muffins.

B. Cleaning one's undies and t-shirts, taking the time to put them in the appropriate drawers in the appropriate rooms, does not guarantee that they will not become fur-lined undies and t-shirts before one has the oppurtunity to glean the benefits of getting to one's laundry.

C. Providing a "doggie pad" does not in any way guarantee that your pet does not prefer to urinate upon whatever fabric was so thoughtfully placed on the floor in the sewing room prior to retiring to one's bed for rest.

*D. Preparing healthful meals at appropriate times.... daily.... Does not suggest that young, responsible adolescents will not take an interest in their own needs for health and vitality.

E. Although at first glance one might easily become confused, this coffee table/ trunk conveniently placed near the couch and television, is not actually a dishwasher.

*

F. A bathroom is actually not a craft center, writing desk, tool caddy, or toy trunk.

*

G. I am quite sure you have heard of a self-cleaning oven?

I hear that with tremendously high temperatures, they can actually clean themselves. This is however, pertinent to ovens, and as far as I know, the technology has not advanced to include countertops.

I know it's all very confusing, and is a lot of information for people to absorb and practise, but it is all true.

*

I kid you not.