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Friday, October 14, 2011

A Page From my Psychology File

Some people are really good at presenting themselves. They have simple, waste free ways of toilet training their babies by one and a half hours of natural childbirth. They cook all their meals a day ahead in the crock pot using dandelion greens their goat chewed off the front lawn. They're thin and occasionally munch on whole grains while busying their hands on stitching organic undies for their loved ones. They know the difference between animal fibers and some other kind of fiber that I can't remember just now.

They run their own equestrian farms, manage fair trade corporations (oxymoron, right?), despise hair dyes, and never shop at Wal-Mart.

They're what I like to call Social Maximalists. They could write pamphlets on how Best To Present The Self.

Then there are the Minimalists.
Minimalists like to poke fun at their own lives. They tend to give you the lowest common denominator on anything they've set their hand to. If they've recently lost a hundred and four pounds, they'll tell you that it would have been hundred and ten if not for that box of digestives that spoke to them softly and gently one lonely afternoon.

If they own the cattle on a thousand hills, they'll tell you in great detail about the one named Bessie who they forgot to call in one night who died alone of thirst and old age.

Minimalists exist to question the authenticity of the maximalist.
Maximalists exist to provide a prototype for the minimalist to despair ever aspiring to.

For entertainment at your next social event, plan the seating so that all the maximalists are together. Listen to them out-shout one another in their quality of life proclamations.

Put the minimalists in another corner. They'll blissfully sip their G&T's because they're
pretty sure
they're not
all that important


janice said...

love it!

Valerie Ruth said...

I'll have a G&T. Not that it matters.

jb said...

kinda like those type As and Bs (or whatev) or those doers and be-ers?? i find it interesting that we type Bs are always striving to be type As (because the As always make themselves sound so amazing) but we never measure up... haha. i love this joyce. :)

joyce said...

ha ha! sweet! makes me feel like planning a party... not that i'm that good at it... not like I could write a book on it or anything....

jb- while we strive to be more "A-esque"; don't we secretly despise and feel suspicious of the whole lot of them? or was that just me being petty and spiteful in my outloud voice?!

I also chew my hangnails to bloody stumps. Did I mention that? That makes any other accomplishments pretty mcuh null and void; right?
:) love ya.

Anonymous said...

Invite me to your party. I will be the one walking from the A side to the B side and back and forth not knowing where I fit in but politely being accepted at the edge of both. Who knows...I might even pose as someone altogether different. Is there a category for me? Is it called "misfit"? Is it called "theatrically successful"?

Judy said...

Ooo. Invite me!
I won't come, as I'll be sure to get a migraine just before I'm ready to walk out the door.
Yes. That's me. The Migraineolist.

janice said...

My lovely daughter chews her hangnails to bloody stumps - I prevent the consumption of my fingernails by plasticizing them. I am pretty sure that it was this, and not all the partying that affected her GPA during first term.

Anonymous said...

Ah, the reality of you L-lew :)