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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

ISO: A New Best Friend

In search of a new best friend. Immediate occupancy.

Must love cats.

More importantly, must love internet cat hilarity.

Loving actual cats in real life is optional. Vacuuming after a real cat, litter box cleaning, and nursing scratches are not required.

Cat drinking is highly recommended.

But really, my standards are getting lower all the time. The clock is ticking- tonight is the Cat video festival at the Winnipeg Red River Exhibition!

Internet Cat Video Festival

You've heard about the Internet cat video phenomenon, now come see it live in person! Bring your friends and your family to check out crazy cat videos. Really get in the spirit and come dressed up in your favourite feline attire. - See more at: http://www.redriverex.com/entertainment/main-stage/#sthash.7BUriVbJ.dpuf

 

Sam had showed some very real potential.

 

But he's fickle. Flighty with his allegiances.

I once found Brian covered in cat, but it turned out to be an act. A sort of irrisistable temptation for me.

It's all starting to get to me.

I mean- people call me "friend"! And yet- where are they when I need them?

Sure, its all fun and games when they want me to attend their stupid baby showers, daughter's wedding, and lame retirement parties. But when my favourite cat band comes to town? Nada. Nothing.

I mean- cat memes are fun!

Totally realistic and inspired.

Cats don't ask too much of us.

Anyway, I thought I'd start on the blogspot before branching out into kijiji personals. If I get no solid leads by about 3 pm today, my ad will look something like this:

46 year old female,

Looking for female or male friends, strictly friends no hook ups will be happening. Not a bar star, but do like to drink and blaze. Interests in nature, smoking, movies, working out together, coffee would be best! Very open minded, can be very active but also really lazy haha. Had a falling out with friends from high school and such so just looking for good company
46 year old female in search of new companion(s).
Willing to forfeit all prior allegiances to previous so-called "friends".
Successful applicant must be available on Wednesday, June 18.
must feign interest in cat video festivals.
I can be reached by email, text message, or cat messenger.

3 comments:

Karla said...

Like I said last night, Joyce. "You'll be back. You'll. be. back."

janice said...

OMG, I missed this - I would SO have gone with you.

Oh yeah, it is 800 million miles away from here. There is that.

Did you go, did you go . . .
How was it, how was it. . .

Do you really live in a house with 2 cats, a dog, a rabbit, and various numbers of people? I want to come live there - I am so sad and lonely with no litter boxes to scrub.

Laura said...

I'd come, but there are two rotten pieces of fruit in the bottom of my fridge. They may have been apples. Really should take care of that.