Every day it feels like I need to make a decision all over again. Give in to the emotions that tell me to hide away,
that tell me its hopeless,
that tell me I"M hopeless, OR: kick at the darkness.
Here is how I thrashed yesterday.I took the kids out for a walk in the unbelievably gorgeous autumn weather. Then we came home and made ma and pa leaf people. They are ideal relatives. So unintrusive. They seem to get along with just about everyone, and they always have these smiles plastered on their faces. If I didn't like them so much, I'd swear it was an act...
Today, after chewing my cuticles down to bloody pulps, eating pink wafer cookies that I don't really like, a handful of stale pretzels, and consuming nothing less than six cups of coffee with cream......
I sewed this bag.
There is nothing simple about the complexity of human emotion.
Maybe tomorrow I'll dig an in-ground pool.
11 comments:
Wow. You are an awesome vessel for angst. Come over here so I can beat you up -- then you can sew me a bag, too. :)
oo
when my husband had cancer i created a "duck joke" (as in jokes about ducks) with my nephews, made everyone i knew christmas ornaments, and baked cinnamon buns almost every day. when he was better, i immediately stopped. it seems to me making leaf people and a beautiful bag are great ways to kick at the darkness.
ps. the cinnamon buns weren't as great an idea... i think i gained about 15 sympathy pounds.
Too funny. Laura
wow
!! love the bag. and love the leaf peop's.
I ALSO strongly dislike strawberry wafer cookies. but brian likes them .so i buy them for HIM and then eat 3/4's of the bag. ew.
they make me sick.
btw - side note: did you go to capenray? my cousin thinks maybe you might have been her roomies. IF you went there. :)
Great purse by the way.
Amen sister. Emotions are not things to be understood; they are part of the mystery of being human. I am so proud of you for kicking away and making those difficult decisions day after day. Now on to me.... I thought I would be buried in my bedroom eating bags of cookies, but instead the tiny extroverted part of my personality can't get enough of being with people these days.
I love the leaf/pumpkin people and the bag. I think I might try creating a few pumpkin folks of my own and see how long they survive in my neighborhood.....
I love you Joyce.
Joyce,
How could someone so terrifically creative be hopeless??
You keep kicking at the darkness until you punch a hole in it... You will do it!
I wish you weren't so far away... I'd drive by with my kids and gawk at your leaf people!!
Our leaves haven't fallen here in North Carolina, US but, if I remember, we are going to build leaf people as a tribute to you! If I remember, I'll send ya a picture!
Blimey - is that Capenwray in Lancashire, England? I used to go there.....
blimus, that brings back memories.
You are great Joyce. I hope you have more joy and less grief as the days go on. The bag and the leaf people are fabulous.
(do yoy fancy doing a vintage button swap with me? if so email: s.e.alsford@gre.ac.uk)
Andrea-- respectful irreverance- now, that's MY love language!
Michele-- next time you need to let off some anxiety steam, send some cinnamon buns this way. I used to be skinny, now, not so much, and I think cinnamon buns would be the way to reduce my wardrobe to lycra and elastic only.
Ruth-- 1985 I think- Thetis Island. But only if your cousin liked me.
Laura &Carol-- thanks. Micah thinks we should stick knives in the pumpkin people's heads for halloween. I say, any day now, that murder Joey guy is going to be running around Niverville disguised in cowboy boots and a pink dress...
Joy-- I just DARE you!
(for both-- coming around for a look, and for making your own!)
Lettuce: you know how to make my heart pitter patter. first you flatter me, then you whisper "vintage" in my ear.....
nolan and i cycled by your place today...the 4th, but alas, no one was outside. we loved your pumpkin people. nolan waved at them...i think he thinks they're real!!!
ps.the bag is gorgous!
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