Thursday, September 06, 2007

Redemption



Once upon a time, there were two young women. They had left their farming communities and had moved their belongings into the big city, probably using their dad's hog-smellin' half-ton to get the job done right. They'd never met one another, and moved into apartments at opposite ends of the big city. But life is weird, so one way or another, they met and began to create a series of adventures built on the themes of laughter and life.

There was snow-shoeing, all-you-can-eat spaghetti-ing, greasy spoon breakfast eating, pining after handsome hunks of manliness-ing, movie watching, body part piercing, other-country-travelling, tent sleeping, hair fussing, and other general hanging-around-ed-ness.

Then came the day and the season where entirely too much sharing crossed the boundaries of frienship and loyalties. Where hearts lay ripped and oozing on the floor of the foundations we'd built that friendship on. Where apologies and justifications were shouted at one another in the very same breath. Death of trust and loyalty dealt by "friendly fire".

Oh, we tried to bridge the abyss. Being "good Christians" and all, we worked hard against the scourges of grudge, revenge, disgust... But something was broken.

We grew up, life taking us this way and that. We lived through our mid to late twenties, and pretty well through our thirites with the memories of those times feeling well shadowed by the less than pleasant torture of our friendship's demise. But we had new lives to live, new sorrows to navigate, new friends to love. And so we were not crippled, only bruised.

And then one day, in the two seconds between the dinner table being set, and the children planting themselves on their chairs, I stole a moment to check my in-box. And I came back to the table with tears streaming down my face, my heart full, and lodged in my throat.

"Subject: Hello my old friend


Dear Joyce,
I spent the day looking through old photographs…and there you were, smiling at me, taking me back to a day in time when life seemed easier. I smiled back at you, I laughed aloud, and then I began to cry. So many regrets…what a fool I was. You were one of the greatest friends I ever had. I made so many stupid decisions in my 20’s. I am sorry! I can’t take any of it back and that makes me mad…mad at myself…mad at the world… I am sorry that it has taken me this long to say I am truly sorry…sorry for hurting you in a way that a friend never should…sorry for thinking only of myself.
Will you ever forgive me? Have you ever forgiven me? Maybe I have never forgiven myself...even after all these years."

OH THE REDEMPTION!!

OH! the reunion we shared after all those years. One more roadtrip, this time her doing the driving and me waiting with joy and anticipation. And then the hours and hours and hours of talking, reconnecting, redeeming, laughing, crying. How my friend had grown! How different to now spend time talking about the God we both love, the questions that no seven steps can adequately answer, the losses and sorrows that we'd had, the hope we shared in something Bigger.

And the hope I received that day, knowing that 17 or so years of a friendship lost could be redeemed in a second through her vulnerability, her sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, her lack of self-protectiveness. How anything that pains me now is not the final word. How time can be wiped away, how time itself can be redeemed.

How much of life hinges on a hope for things not yet fully seen.

But sometimes just a glimpse of that kind of redemption can be the wave to ride on and the energy to harness for today's not-yet redeemed voids.

17 comments:

gloria said...

I love this. There is hope for other lost friendships.

Roo said...

wow! yeah!

i like to picture redemption as a house that has been totally destroyed by fire. NOT A THING LEFT...if you saw it you would probably say -- there is no hope.

but look a little closer and youwill find a foundation. the contents of the home may have been lost in the fire but the foundation stands strong and firm.

and if there is a foundation there is always hope to build again!!

thanks so much for sharing this post. it speaks to me of many shattered relationships that i hope will one day be restored.

Anonymous said...

Beautifully stated and the picture is awesome!! Those big smiles! It gives me hope for my lost friendships. Thank You!

Anonymous said...

Incredibly awesome--God is GOOD!

Leanne said...

I understand, and I rejoice with you. Interesting (and slightly strange) that I had the same experience of redemption this past weekend, and now you've written such a beautiful post that echoes all of my thoughts.

Judy said...

So beautiful, Joyce!

Nancy said...

I love what you have written Joyce, and I love you. I just wish we didn't live so far apart. I long for more afternoons where we can continue to laugh, cry, and grow old together!

Heather Plett said...

Very nice. My lost friendship has never been as fully redeemed, though I did reach out and make a very difficult phone call to say sorry, after almost as many years as you. I don't think we'll ever spend an afternoon together again, though.

Anonymous said...

I'm happy for you Joyce...good friends are treasures...and is it not amazing that no matter how much time has passed...you can pick up right where you left off? Awesome...Lindalew

Dolly said...

I haven't read your blog for a bit, but something prompted me to check out your very interesting blog this morning. Wow! Praise the Lord for your restored friendship. Nancy had not told me all these details (However, there is the possibility she did and I forgot them)but I am so glad you reconnected. This will be an inspiration to many.

Anonymous said...

First a comment about the belonging.
Reminds of the kids story The Emporer's New Clothes, where the king leads the parade naked because nobody has the courage to stand up against the fraudulent tailors and say that there is no such thing as invisible clothes!
Makes me wonder how many times in my life I walked out naked so to speak because I didn't have the courage to call it as I saw it!
And now about redemption...I have one of those two, but unfortunately when reconciliation was attempted on her part, I was in no place to soften my heart. Now when I read this, something is telling me to reconsider. An obituary is a terrible way to end a friendship.
Joanne

Leanne said...

I agree (with what you posted on my blog)- Madeleine L'Engle is giving me so much to think about in regards to what Western culture has done to Christianity...and so many other things! Definitely worth reading.

esther said...

WOW!!!
That is so great...
God is so great!

i love that we've got hope in Him:)

Anonymous said...

I read your post in my google reader the other day and since then I have thought about it periodically. It was such a heartwarming, thought provoking, post. So full of hope. I am so happy for you two to be able to forgive and move forward. Bless you for sharing this post.

Bonnie said...

That's great Joyce!! God is so good and faithful! Be blessed!

Anonymous said...

I love this post.

Romeo Morningwood said...

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission, but hard to permit forgiveness.

There is no Love like Old Shoe Love, is there?