Some Thoughts on Church and Faith

The less I try and figure out theology; the more excited I get about this God thing.
It frees me up in church, when people say things that I think are weird. I don't try so hard to quickly work out in my head whether they are right or wrong or whether I want to absorb their stuff into my head. I just try to listen. Try to observe. Leave room for God to be God. Whether He be weird or sensible, I can't figure that out any more.

And here's what seems to be happening. I feel like I'm coming more into the person God made me to be. Less concerned whether people will agree or not. A little more "freed up", a little less judgemental and frightened.

It's ironic, isn't it? When one becomes un-churchy, quits volunteering for all the stuff that good Christians do with their time, recognizes what a pathetic amount of faith she can lay claim to.... That's when something begins to make some sense. That's when the "God stuff" starts showing up in your life. That's when the community comes into your kitchen and the bearing of one another's burdens is no longer contrived and organized. That's when your passions begin to flow in a direction that totally makes sense, even as simultaneously, there are other aspects of your life that are apparently in a big mess. It matters less. There is a marked reduction in the sense that one has to get one's ducks, bibles, and devotionals in a row before any good can come of it.

There is one piece of Jesus time on earth that I find myself dwelling on quite often. Especially when I notice how much time Christians spend pointing out how other Christians are wrong in their theologies. I always think of those religious leaders- in current terminology they would likely be profs at bible colleges, ministers of churches, deacons, popes, priests- Whatever word you can think of. (I'm trying to avoid the appearance of finger-pointing here). They had immersed themselves in the scriptures. They had figured out what the coming Kingdom was going to look like. They knew the rules about what good Christians did and did not do.

And then Jesus totally offended them.
Called them names.
Talked about how their behaviors meant very little.

Crazy.
So, I'm caring less about figuring this thing out. If I actually trust God, then can't I leave a lot of that thinking up to him? And if people say weird stuff, or strict stuff, or religious stuff.... Do I really have to figure out if they are right or wrong? Or how right or wrong I myself am?

Weird, boring, confusing and frustrating as church and faith can be, I think I may be onto something here. I'm in for the long haul because I think Jesus was a pretty amazing embodiment of God.

And I want to get some more.