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Monday, March 21, 2011

Mommy?

Sometimes the best thing that can happen to my week is Monday.

"Good-bye, my dears. Have a good day at school...."

"Welcome toddlers- you who (usually) listen to me, rarely sneer, and whose needs seem so basic- so attainable."

Parenting rips my heart out sometimes.
I feel unqualified.
Inadequate.
Angry and sad.

These are really decent kids that I'm referring to. I've had it really good.

But they have direct access to my heart and all my triggers.
They yank and pull.

I'm left wondering what a truly great parental figure would do in each of my circumstances. I'm left wishing I didn't feel overwhelmed. Wishing I had at least half of the answers.

I know that this will pass and I'll be equally overwhelmed at my good fortune. My kids are so entwined in everything that matters that it's just logical that at times it just plain hurts.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

So well put! Valerie C.

wendz said...

Ah. Joyce. I understand.

My son turned 13 in December and since then we have had three major incidents, one ( 2 weeks ago) involving the police, which have ripped my heart out and torn it into shreds before stuffing the whole bloody mess back inside, somewhere close to where my heart used to be.

I have this terrible fear that his adolescence is going to a frightful rollercoaster ride.

Parenting. Are we ever up for it? Really?

I am clueless.

And yes it HURTS. Damn it hurts. And tears? Oh man. How can I be 45 and still able to cry so much.

Roo said...

xo your heart on the outside of your body... xo

Mary KG said...

Love you.