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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Dear Janice

It's Tuesday, and I'm enjoying a Black Russian in the peace and quiet of my post- work house. I think I'm throwing myself this teensy Tuesday party to partially make up for a weekend that wasn't much fun. Its an invasion of privacy to write about it, darnitall, so I can't go into detail for you, my virtual friend. I know you told me that I haven't posted anything since May 27th, but I simply cannot absorb that as fact! If that's true, there's been a time warp, and I'm missing roughly three weeks. And, no. It's not the Black Russians. They are good and kind and don't come around often enough to be a nuisance.

I've actually had a lot of deep thoughts in the space of a lost month.

But strangely enough, I can't find fourteen seconds of uninterrupted time to spell any of it out or explore it, so they'll rumble around in my head a bit or a lot longer. Meanwhile, I've decided to feature some utterly useless and random thoughts. It seems I'm capable of doing that while spinning plates.

Giant Tiger, my guilty pleasure. Rye bread for $1.67? yes, please! Flip flops for $6 and summer tops in fun colors for $8? Sign me up. If you have to shop retail (which is recommended for grocery items...... yard sales don't often feature ground beef, yogurt, or milk. And when they do....... hmmmmm.) Giant Tiger is kind of a retail yard sale. You never know what you might find, and you'll generally walk away happy because you found something that no one who lives a normal life will. Normal is highly overrated. (except when it comes to sanity. I'd take normal in that category, but who's picking? not me, apparently.)

Bathroom scales are evil. This borders on "deep thoughts", but I don't have time to really go into it so it'll be random. I woke up one morning and noticed that a portion of my middle aged belly seemed to be missing and I had a wicked little thought: "Hey! I've lost Weight!" (evil thought #97865. it shouldn't matter. it doesn't define my identity, my value, my day.) Evil thoughts lead to evil actions = stepping on the scale. 'Nuf said. Seems gravity had pulled some of my belly down into my backside to make room for some up and coming fatty bits in the higher ups and lower downs. Oh well, there's always Giant Tiger. And mu muuuuuuuus.

Soccer is a lot like laundry. It takes a lot of effort to get the item in question from one side over to the other side, and just when you think you've done it, it lands up over at the original side and it appears that you've accomplished nothing. So you exert a collossal amount of energy to kick it over to the side you want it on. But it never lasts for longer than a second or two, although you remain in perpetual sweaty motion.

Perennial gardens and prairie canals make me very happy. In these spaces, I can feel peace washing over me, which is saying something.

There's nothing like the sound of wind in tall grass and songs of red winged blackbirds in the reeds. This is where I went for church on Sunday morning. I loved the music.

These purple flowers grew in the side yard of the house we lived in before this house. My friend laughed at me and told me that they were weeds. I always stuck up for them, and have them at my new (old) house too. But then again, I'm that girl who suspects that God made dandelions so that we couldn't tame beauty- it just springs up any old place, every year.

Lately I've been worried about how much of my life I've lost due to worrying. This is worrisome.

I currently have 201 pins on my "crazy cat lady" board on pinterest.

Nobody is entirely as they appear. This is true for loud, obnoxious people (who are not entirely loud or obnoxious, but wear it because it works). It is true for tall, slender, passionate, young activist types who are all those things but it doesn't excempt them from anxiety and disorder. That family with the mom and dad who love their kids unconditionally and are well respected for their wisdom and integrety? Their kids didn't get a golden ticket either, and suffer with all manner of shit-osis, even though they're the lucky ones with the decent family. I really wish it was true that love is enough. Love doesn't make bad things go away at all. I still believe in love, but not in a very simplistic way.

In two weeks I'll be on holidays. What am I really pleased about? That I don't feel at all burnt out. I'm not counting days or sleeps or hairs on my head. Its been a super pleasant year here in kid land, and there's kids heading off for kindergarten and grade one in the fall that I'm not at all pleased about seeing go. Having said that, I do look forward to having time for some other things, like sewing for two fairs I'm participating in this summer!

On my "not happy enough" weekend I gave myself a gift: a drive to nowhere. I found some marvellous prairie scenes and actually, throughly felt that I was "getting away from it all".

We had a mailbox like this. I remember walking to it in sunshine and snowstorms and marvelling that a little box could hold or deliver our letters.

 

I've been doing some exploring of the Bridges of Mennonite County.

It's pretty sexy.

How am I doing, Janice? I bet you feel a lot better now, having read this tale of my endlessly fascinating life. As a sort of benediction, I'm going to tell you my personal truth: a confession.

In paragraph two or so, I shared how I enjoy finding deals at Giant Tiger. It's true. I really do. It has now been a day since my GT indulgence. I've worn my six dollar flip flops all day and found them to be extremely comfortable. I've toasted and served rye bread. I've peeled bananas.

Not being terribly inspired to cook supper today, I happened to remember that I'd bought a lovely set of breasts that once belonged to a chicken. They were in my cart along with the sandals, the bananas, and the bread. I'd just stir fry that up with some veggies, cook some rice and call it a meal!

So I took out the chicken,

and it smelled like poop.

rotten, raunchy poop. With a side of kak.

So, by my math, my comfy sandals actually cost $16.00.

Still a good deal when you factor in how cushiony they are.

Or if you decided that you'd actually bought them in a for real shoe store at the mall, and you never wanted chicken anyway.

 

See you in less than a month. I promise.

XO, joycie

p.s. Write back!

 

10 comments:

Judy said...

Down here in Michigan we are counting the days to grandchild number six. Only nine more days. Unless he decides to come earlier, which would be fine with his mamma.
Today I shall have six kids seven and under, but my sister is coming!
There is even a slight possibility that we might find a moment to chat with each other.
Maybe.
You never know.
I love you Joyce. You are good people.

Maureen said...

"But then again, I'm that girl who suspects that God made dandelions so that we couldn't tame beauty- it just springs up any old place, every year."

This is the most profound notion I've had to think about for a long time. Thank you.

...and I can relate to the stanky chicken - my "30% off a whole chicken" deal totally backfired on me once too! Ew.

janice said...

Dear Joycie;

Thank you ever so much for the post. I love reading them, and I am pretty sure I love you and when we meet, we will stay up late and chat for hours. I can't believe it is Wednesday, and your missive was written a whole day ago. Obviously I was busy at work yesterday, and at home, in the evening.

I love your flip flops. I think I will allow myself a $6 pair, if I find one. I have a moratorium on shopping, due to the move, and the lack of need, but self-imposed rules are made to be broken.

I am very sorry about the bad weekend and the horrid chicken.

I saw you and your kids on facebook, and I still want to come spend days at your house some time.

I have a question for you: You know when the recipe says preheat, blend, blend, stir, stir, drop, bake. Do you ever get the cookies in the oven before or shortly after the beep beep that says it is heated? My oven ran last night for an hour, for 2 12 minute pans of cookies. Either I am really slow at blendblendstirstirdrop or my oven is really fast or there is a collusion between the gas company and recipe writers.

Thanks for the post. Talk soon. I am endlessly amused by your photos and still consider you a master wordsmith.

XO Janie (pronounced with a short A, and not used for about 50 years.)

Anonymous said...

About bloody time! Thanks for your rumblings..love them! Shopping at GT? No wonder I have not seen you at superstore lately!
-Carolyn

wendz said...

I know nothing about where you live so seeing those flat stretches of grass and field is shocking. But in a good way, mind. Such wide open space. I think England is so small and everything is crammed together. So you drive into the countryside and yes there are fields and farms and it's all so bucolic and lovely...but lest you be fooled into thinking that there is real space, at the edge of the fields, which are small compared to yours, are rolling hills, or forests or both...or, of course, the sea. You drive up a hill, along a twisty country lane, thickly wooded, green and dark, and reach the top and suddenly the trees fall away and there below is the sea. It is quite mad.

I love it but I do miss the space I had in Africa. And you, too, have space.

I will agree that bathroom scales are evil. I am so scared of mine, wicked vile things, that I haven't stepped onto them since last year. But, I did go to a weightwatchers meeting this week and paid them some money so I could stand on their scales. Bad idea to do that in public. Baaaaad idea. I cried. In front of other peeps. Evil scales indeed. Onward and upwards ho! ;)

janice said...

BTW, my scales fell off (sounds profound so far) the truck during my last move, 13 years ago, and I don't miss them.

I got the day off today, due to flooding. And my house is OK, so I have no evacuation or insurance claim to deal with. But I am going to find a place to volunteer for the cleanup next week.

Brenda Funk said...

"Nobody is entirely as they appear. This is true for loud, obnoxious people (who are not entirely loud or obnoxious, but wear it because it works). It is true for tall, slender, passionate, young activist types who are all those things but it doesn't excempt them from anxiety and disorder. That family with the mom and dad who love their kids unconditionally and are well respected for their wisdom and integrety? Their kids didn't get a golden ticket either, and suffer with all manner of shit-osis, even though they're the lucky ones with the decent family. I really wish it was true that love is enough. Love doesn't make bad things go away at all. I still believe in love, but not in a very simplistic way."

Good for you Joyce if you have discovered this truth. I think we were taught that if we did things right, if we had a 'christian' home, we would be spared all the difficulties of life, and our kids would be trophies, sailing through life. No so. But love is still good, especially when things don't work out the way we'd wish. And I do still believe that God is LOVE, most profoundly so, and that He is unquestionably there when life gets messy and difficult. Love you Joyce....you are 'good people' as one of your other commenters said. Life is incredibly more gray than I ever thought possible in my younger years. And yet I wouldn't trade it for the black and white, which is so much simpler, but so much less true.

joyce said...

Is the baby here, Judy?! We should totally have each other on skype all day long so we could watch hoards of children simultaneously. Except that I hate skype, so that poses a tiny problem. You, my friend, are my longest bloggie bestie. xo love xo love xo love.

Maureen, Maureen'! welcome to this little piece of silly world I share with my marvelous friends. YOu are a friend of the dandelions, you are a friend of mine.

Dearest Janie. The cookies took fourteen days to bake because you were distracted by the many dogs tht you love. And you took the time to come visit us. Which we will do in real time, all night, except that I can't stay up all night because I get very sleepy at 10:12 precisely. But perhaps we could start at noon and pretend that its actually midnight? We'll just pull down the blinds.YOu are the peachiest.

Carolyn- lately grocery shopping feels monumental, like it might kill me that I have to haul all that crap around just so that my people won't starve for another week. And its such a dull way to spend hundreds of dollars. But I'm not avoiding you, no way!

Wendz- we (I) on the Canadian prairies sometimes forget what beauty we have. Miles and miles of it.
Your bit about the scales had me smile wryly- these things we do to ourselves! Pay some grumpy hungry lady to go step on her scale so you can be publicly shamed. I'm so sorry. I love you exactly the way you are and want to come stitch in your merry house and eat scones. Scales be damned.

Janice- the photos of Calgary are incomprehensable. (sp?) I'm glad your new home was spared. would you have been so lucky in the place you just moved from?

Brenda- your words are a balm that I've read many times these last days, as they've not been fun days, and I'm nourished on the thought that God is love and good and profoundly THERE. xo hugs kisses.

Judy said...

No baby yet. "Friday, Friday..."

janice said...

"Soccer is a lot like laundry. It takes a lot of effort to get the item in question from one side over to the other side, and just when you think you've done it, it lands up over at the original side and it appears that you've accomplished nothing. So you exert a collossal amount of energy to kick it over to the side you want it on. But it never lasts for longer than a second or two, although you remain in perpetual sweaty motion."

I have been watching soccer for years, and rugby the last 2 summers, and I never realized how much it is like laundry. Unbelievible that I lived in this darkness for years. I shall go home and kick some laundry around and be grateful I only do my own.