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Thursday, February 01, 2007

Well! That's a Relief!

Borrowed from Heather at Fumbling For Words: "In the paper this morning, there was an article about this book on the blogosphere. Apparently the author thinks that we (bloggers) are "isolated and lonely, living in a virtual reality instead of forming real relationships or helping to change the world." It gets even better. Blogging is "melancholic and illusionary" and the community of support we find is "not real".

Well, that's a relief.
I'm glad I'm not really exhausted and feeling sorry for myself right now. And I'm glad I'm not really going to bore any real people or jeopardize any real supportive relationships. Wow. That takes a lot of pressure off. Now I'm free to be completely narcissistic and dull.

This is timely since I don't feel like I've got the right to whine about being exhausted or over-extended to my flesh and blood friends who know that I've done this all to myself. So now I can take advantage of my imaginary group of melancholic and illusionary readers and whinge away without a single pang of guilt. You're not real anyway.

After an eleven hour day of bum wiping, story reading, snack making, lunch making, snack making, puzzling, picking up toys, vacuuming, taking the baby off the table, giving him a snack, scrubbing the pee off the sides of the toilet, paying some bills, taking the baby off the back of the couch, answering the phone, distracting a toddler who wants her mommy, taking out some meat for supper, taking out the recycling, making some dental appointments, and not beating anyone, there's no way to unwind like cooking dinner, doing the dishes, folding the laundry, answering the phone, wiping the counters, changing the sheets, emptying the dishwasher, checking backpacks for homework, signing agendas, making a snack, cleaning up the snack, answering questions, encouraging children to clean up their sty-excuses-for-bedrooms, trying to monitor how much time they spend on screens, screens, screens, giving them baths, setting the shower to the perfect temperature, scrubbing the bath, mopping the bathroom floor, treating skin conditions, reading stories, brushing teeth, changing Sam to jammies and tucking kids into bed, then tucking them back into bed, then saying good night one more time.

It's nice to know that my reality is actually "virtual". And I'm relieved to hear that no one expects someone as isolated and melancholy as myself to do anything to change the world. That really clears things up for me.

Besides, instead of wasting all my free time on changing the world, I was thinking of joining the gym to improve my health so I can live my imaginary life for a longer, healthier period of time. Not that I'll have any real people to live it with.

12 comments:

Heather said...

Man, you've SERIOUSLY gotta do a better job of creating a virtual reality if that's how you spent your day!

But what am I don't leaving a comment? If I'm not real, than this is a sad and pathetic waste of time.

Anonymous said...

This is not your real life, if it was your real life, you would have been given better instructions.

Anonymous said...

Last time I checked, I was real.


Judy - Anybody Home
www.judyh58.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Good thing your real world is virtual. I think you'd go crazy if it was real. Now, I think I'll go and have a virtual nap.

Anonymous said...

Joyce!
I seriously hadn't laughed so hard in a long time. And I thought my day sucked. :)
-H

Joyce said...

...after the post, the hubby went out for some "much needed" r&r. I needed the pressure anyway to set up the steamer for the sick boy, rub the vicks, get the drinks of water, the tylenol, and lay down with children having night fears. I'm just so glad that none of this is real.

it's a gong show... said...

Hilarious post Joyce! Sounds like it your turn for some serious R&R...you deserve it!

B

Michele said...

so true, if it was all real
well, life would suck sometimes, wouldn't it?

Cherrypie said...

I really want to meet up with you over a glass or 3 of wine and a bowl of olives but the chances of that happening in the foreseeable future is virtually impossible. That makes me sad and melancholic.

Me said...

wow! so it doesn't matter what I say or who reads it or - etc


...too bad I know lives ruined by poor 'virtual' decisions that caused their 'real' lives to crumble...

lettuce said...

If i was real I'd be so offended by your lack of concern for my feelings.

but only if I thought you really meant it, of course

which you couldn't do unless you had some grasp of human relationships and some gift at communication....

which might account for why I like you so much and keep visiting...

..... if I existed that is





I think I lost myself there!


(loved your tip for a just home environment. lol)

...

thordora said...

That guy pissed me off. My internet friends are better than RL friends in many cases.