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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Fragile But Strong

Bad stuff happens to everyone. People lose children, siblings, health, the sanctity of their marriage. Finances crumble, friendships end, hopes die. And so there is nothing unique about pondering the likelihood of caring for my aging parents. There is nothing unique about feeling hollow and frightened that my brother died before I was quite used to his diagnosis. Still, a wise friend pointed out, its the first time its happened to me, and that makes it unique.

I, and my world, are forever changed. I want to navigate all this "properly", deal with stress appropriately, remember and rely on the one word that God impressed upon me some two years ago: REST. And so in ways I feel strong and determined.

But in other ways, I'm a stupid little kid in water wings, trying to swim upstream.

3 comments:

Ruth said...

i love the title of your post.
soooo true.

Danielle B. said...

There is no 'proper' way to deal with the ebbs and flows of life..we are all unique and therefore what is 'proper' for one...may not suit another. I wouldn't say you were stupid...you are smart enough to know you need water wings ;)

Tess said...

I agree with your wise friend, and would add that it's the first time it's happened to THEM, too, so it is truly unique for all of you.
Sometimes you have to fight against the current, sometimes you need to allow it to carry you, and sometimes you need to grab an overlying branch, haul yourself out onto the bank (which will probably be extremely muddy) and, as you say, rest.
Anyway, enough of the river analogies already. Thinking of you.