Sunday, August 26, 2007

Bringing Sexy Back

Down at the local junk shop yesterday I ran into a worldly friend who had been hoodwinked into buying tickets for the infamous Justin Timberlake concert. We giggled about being older than fourteen and trying to blend into the hysterical audience of perky young undie tossers. Then I inadvertently launched into a long spiel about my thirteen year old daughter downloading his music and how less-than-thrilled I was about the sexual pervasiveness in his tunes, and my horrer at the very idea of purchasing her a $111.00 ticket for the privelege of watching his hips gyrate. Our culture is so saturated with sexuality, I rambled on, and I want more than that for my daughters.



Little did I know how far and wide that Timberlake's influence had spread. Like a batch of newly hatched Manitoba mosquitoes launched out of a tepid July pond, that sexy thinking had saturated places previously unknown to the world and all its temptations. Little did I know that even our local haven- the mecca for clean hands missionary work, scrubber and seller of all things used and dated, was also a pawn in our culture of hedonism. Yes, buried under key chains advertising evangelism, hilcoa, fancy humble cars, and trendy funeral homes was a treasure unearthed by my precious, innocent, impressionable young daughter.


Run for the hills, cloister your handmaidens.

Our last remaining sanctuary of purity has been toppled.

The Niverville Mcc Store is bringing sexy back.

21 comments:

mmichele said...

really makes you wonder...

whose keychain was that?

and

would you ever want to be alone in a car with someone who had a keychain like that?

and

i hope you paid less than $110 for it.

Anonymous said...

That is too funny. My husband found a penis enlarging machine as he was cleaning up his father's house. I want to donate it to Goodwill and then hang around to see who buys it.
Thanks for the laugh this morning.

Anonymous said...

Oh my..it does make yo wonder about the history behind it doesn't it?

joyce said...

...and who thought it was wise to donate it instead of throwing it out?!

I paid considerably less than $110.00. In fact, I stole it, and told my children that the thrift store should never have put it out, that they probably had not looked at it closely, and that we were doing them a favour by keeping it in my pocket!

Roo said...

YOU STOLE IT!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(i never use these initials but this comment is worthy of it)

ROTFL!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I can't really post what I want to right now. Really, I can't. And, no, it wasn't mine.
But it did make a great read as I went out the door to church this morning!

Anonymous said...

I can relate to your feelings of "horror" of finding such a thing, especially where you found it. I have many feelings of horror as I hear what comes out of my kid's mouths..like today..on the way to the restaurant after church, (I was riding with my 22 year old son and his friend as my husband had to attend an impromtu elder's meeting right after church) my son says to his buddy.."Hey Vinnie, have you seen Ashley Miller lately? She is soooo HOOOOTTTTTT. I saw her this week at the cafe and I wanted to touch me some bootie!" (emphasis on bootie and makes a pinching gesture with his thumb and finger) The guys laughed with that laugh that makes you feel like bopping them both on the head...

At this point I just shake my head and wonder...where did we go wrong? I have yet to answer this question....

Anonymous said...

You stole it? I can hardly type I am laughing so hard right now.

BTW, Justin really did bring sexy back. What a show. I was trying to sell that ticket until the very minute I walked into the MTS Center. Had a blast! Best concert ever!

How on earth did that keychain pass inspection?? I'll buy it from you!

it's a gong show... said...

I have to admit that I too paid $110 and brought some serious "sexy back" with Jenn. It was worth every penny!

As for our local MCC, I can barely believe that hedonism is right here in our own little town, what's next...rock n' roll?

svea said...

Oh my stinkin gosh! Who make key chains like that?!?!

On a completely other note Taliah said she really enjoyed your snuggle at church, isn't my baby girl delicious?, I know I am quite biased.
hugs to you!

Melissa said...

I am not sure what is funnier, your post or the comments.

I bet the thrift store put it out there on purpose - they are probably a cover for some alien organization trying to sexualize our entire planet so that they can come in and easily take over and then use as breeding stock.

Judy said...

I'm glad to know that their remain honest thieves in this world.

Our mission thrift store sells some AWFUL stuff. I used to buy it just so I could throw it away. I'd never dreamed of stealing it though...

...thanks, Joyce, for lighting the way!

(now, if i could just remember where i stashed my band of merry men!)

Anonymous said...

I'm telling! My mom works at the Trift Shop and she will be watching you from now on.
Melissa

Bonnie said...

Ok, this is ALL way too funny!! Svea-"stinkin gosh!!" That's probably the funniest expression I've heard in a long time! I found a tshirt once with a not so nice saying on it and just showed it to one of the ladies in the back suggesting that maybe they didn't want to have it for sale. Never thought of stealing it though, that's one way to get it out of there fast!!

gloria said...

Hey! I put that key chain out there! Thought Niv could use some "loosening up"

gloria said...

OK, so I should clarify for the readers of yours that do not know me, the chain was not really put out there by me, I was only kidding.

joyce said...

A new reason to continue my thrifting hobbey... I've yet to steal a penis enlarging machine...

Okay, you self righteous people. Would YOU have (a) brought that item to the counter, put it down, and then PURCHASED it? or would you have (b) brought that item to some humble, noble missionary type woman in the back, shown it to her, traumatize her forever, and then suggest that their screening process sucked and that they shouldn't sell the item?!!

So, you see.... theft was the only compassionate choice.

Mills' Memoirs said...

That is hilarious, Joyce! I bet the volunteers didn't even realize what was on there! My hubby's grandma got him a cake with a naked lady who had gumdrop nipples for his 4th birthday! I think she thought it was snoopy or something....I'll have to show you the picture!

Anonymous said...

I had to enlarge the picture to see what all the hoopla was about...oh my...the Thrift shop has turned into a porn shop...hilarous....Lindalew

Linda said...

That does it. I will begin shopping at Thrift stores. I can't wait to discover all of the treasures.

Romeo Morningwood said...

My daughters are both adults now and they lurved JT. Best show ever!
When they were tweeenies they had to go see the Backstreet Boys at the Convention Centre when the band was just starting to take off.

Every generation has heartthrobs...maybe I shouldn't use the word throbs.

YOU STOLE IT! My Word.
WWJD? (What would Joyce do)
Situational ethics is THE ticket to a clear conscience.

Anyway when you finally get around to having 'the talk' with your daughter, you might as well admit that the featured position is for the birds because only one person can still watch TV.