The Classifieds

Gosh, I miss this place.

Needed: Personal manager. Duties include: Making decisions for me; washing the dishes, telling me what to do next, sweeping the floor, like fifty million times a day; folding and returning to the cupboard endless swatches of fabric that get pulled out daily, held up against the day's project, then discarded to the floor for some minor infraction of shade or design. A gas jockey would be handy. Someone who owns a giant barel of purple gas- the stuff we used to have on the farm that was cheaper than the regular stuff, and meant for the implements, but contraband for the family car. Cheap. Gas. Ah, the good old days. right, the classifed ad.... An office manager. someone to answer the phone, fill in the blue cross forms, pay my bills (with their own account, of course) And a program manager. Someone brilliant and positive who gets my kids' butts in gear and makes them want to be endlessly active and creative all summer long.

Qualities: Brilliance. Endless positive energy. Decisiveness.
Must be willing to work for food.
That they cook for themself.