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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

She Loves me, She Loves Me Not...

Spring is Coming! (The kitties are losing furry bits...)

Spring hates me. It's minus 26, I've not seen the back of the house since last October, and that
bike is sitting in permafrost.

Spring is coming! We've gone into Daylight Savings Time! (too bad for Saskatchewan, we've just confused the knickers off of them...)

Not that all those additional daylight hours have any effect whatsoever on the temperatures..... Or the fifty-five-million boots that litter the filthy back porch.....
Spring hates me.

Spring is coming! I got a bizarre, and undeniable urge to take on the massive project of mowing the winter coat off my legs last night. Too bad I can't shave off the explosion of cellulite that seems to have multiplied unabashedly over the long, long, looooooong winter months. Something about keeping me warm, I suppose?

Spring hates me. Note the pastey pallor. Note the subtle shift in tone from a snowy white long-sleeved t-shirt, moving up into the beige lips, which blend impercievably into the surrounding tissues.
Do you love me or hate me? Please emerge from your dark chambers of mockery and bring me a token of your love. Some flowers. Mud. Bicycles. Campfires. Trampolining in the dark. Soccer season. Trips to the lake.
A reason, a reward, for surviving this ridiculous winter.
(tell me what you are looking forward to this spring and summer? Tell me what you want to kill and never see again, with regards to winter?)


tanya said...

I love that last picture Joyce. You look like you're lurking around trying to catch someone with their finger in the cookie jar. This winter I've grown to hate hearing what the "normal temperature" is, because it is so discouraging when it's -35 with the windchill and you discover that it's usually -8. Or the radio announcer who told me this morning that spring officially comes in 6 days snickering from his warm radio booth.
I also think I should start removing Facebook "Friends" who have moved away from this deep freeze and like to rub it in as their status lines on the -40ish days when the freezing cold traps you inside the house and the internet is your link to the outside world.

Rosa said...

GEt this woman out she needs some help. By the way Joyce I feel noooooo sympathy for your cellulite covered legs after continually coveting the unimaginable feasts you eat on Friday nights wilst I eat pc's version of kdinner and still have miles deep of the stuff on my thighs. Hey do you want to toast a donut to that?

Anonymous said...

I am looking forward to freshly mowed grass and working in my backyard garden.....I will not miss this freezing wind! Son plans on playing summer hockey though (strange child), so I guess I will still have to spend time in an arena, but in shorts and sandals - so it is not that bad.....daughter in volleyball most of August.....camping here and there, and hopefully holidays and golfing somewhere! MK

Anonymous said...

i'm looking forward to walks in the sunshine, taking my son outside, landscaping the yard, owning a second vehicle. personally i never want to see another windchill again.


Judy said...

I HATE my winter coat. HATE it. But, I have standards, and the thing just won't wear out. I bought it used at Goodwill at least five years ago. It had a tiny tear I was always going to fix and an ink stain I planned to remove. Both remain.

But, I AM looking forward to SPRING so I can hang the bed sheets on the line. No matter that not one other person in this lower middle class neighborhood of mine does that but ME, I shall expect others will be joining me soon out of necessity. And, then they will wonder why they didn't do it sooner.

gophercheeks said...

Hahahaha, nice one Joyce. Thanks for the plug. hahaha
I just want to send the kids outside without all the layers.
I just want to be able to go outside with my bare feet and stand on the deck and talk to my kids without having to grab my parka and mitts first.
I just want to drive with my window down and not get frostbite on the left side of my head.
I just want to wear flip flops, and drink beer and eat salsa and putz around in the yard.
I need more sunshine in my life.
I just want to sit beside the barbecue while I'm cooking on it instead of dropping the meat off on the bloody grill and sprinting back into the house and hoping for the best.
I just want to ride my bike really fast down through the park and feel some warm air on my face for a change.
I'd love to use my fire pit a bit more this summer for hot dogs, and marshmallow smores and heat on those cooler summer nights.
Dammit.... bring it on!! We all deserve a reprieve from this crap!!
Really.... it's March and our buses didn't run at all today!! Really....!

Thank Joyce for allowing us all to vent and bitch on your post. I needed that.
I think this weekend, as therapy, I will stock my birdfeeders with the finest treats any bird could ask for and then watch as they come and remind me that spring is indeed on it's way!!

joyce said...

Tanya- that link to the outside world.... Oh HOW I GET THAT!
And normal temps. hmmmm... desn├Ęt is seem like every winter we are "Below average"? And if so, isn't the average growing lower every year? And if so.... will we have anyone on facebook left who doesnt just move away?!

Rose, you make an excellent point. Those are hard-earned dimples, and not easily attained. I should think of them as TROPHIES. Thanks for the insights....

MK- freshly mowed grass. Gosh. I nearly forgot about that. One of my most favouritest things ever, ever. I love mowing it. I love the way it looks after. I love the smell. I love it all.

joyce said...

Val- oh my gosh. Taking the kids outside. I nearly forget how that goes. As soon as the temp rises to "won't immediately kill you", the children and I walk, and walk, andwalk. And play outdoors.

JUDY! You hit the other top favourite on the noggin! People often remark how resourceful I am to use my washline... but really i use my washline because its one of my greatest summertime simple pleasures! I love the sounds of it. The smells. The sights. Even the crunchiness of it. It all says "summer" to me.

Gopher...You know that SK isn't all THAT far away. And you know how I feel about decks, and salsa, and beer. You may not know how I feel about bare feet and flip flops. Yes, I may stalk you.

Brian and I have already pledged to make a fire every single possible evening. It's probably our best family together time.

BRING IT ON! indeed.

Roo said...

winter ending:
pros: walks to the play ground with my little pumpkins and NOT HAVING TO DRESS THEM WITH A BILLION LAYERS.

cons: brian goes back to work and that means he will be gone for many many hours of the day. we shall miss him.

pros: popsickles

cons: popsickle stickiness all over my little lovelies. (especially the orange colored kind)

pros: garage sales

cons: buying more junk to clutter up my home.

pros: flowers!

cons: weeding the flower garden.

pros: flying kites!

cons: getting the kite twisted on the neighborhood telephone pole.

pros: watching my baby discover outdoor life.

cons: baby is growing up. baby turns 1!

that's all for now.

coffeeloves said...

i think we skipped spring...summer and fall, and just started up another winter.
i hate it.
i too shaved my legs, but then wore extra long socks, jeans and boots.
i like your blogs.