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Friday, March 27, 2009

How Joyce Survived A March Snowstorm: A Tutorial

Now; just last week, one of my daycare kids brought his bike, because the sidewalk was clear and the great outdoors had become a possible afternoon playground for the big boys.
But that was then, and this is now.
What happened was the big spring snowstorm. Which means that my carefully planned schedule for sanity management gets promptly thrown out into the snow to die a slow and uncomfortable death.

Day One: Do not give in to the Darkness.
Plunge not into the abyss.
Dip eggs.
Blow out the yolks on another one.
Or two.
Or one and a half dozen- all that chipping and yolk-puffing is good for ridding your psyche of toxins.

Day Two: Feel around for whether your head is still physically attached to your neck. Does it just feel like it is spinning wildly and randomly several inches above the body?

Reach for the craft kit that some thoughtful being brought into your abode. Try to block the memories that you are not a huge fan of sitting and doing children's crafts. Try to remember that you have the fragile, growing minds of vulnerable children in the grip of your tremoring hands.

Note that the craft kit was the child's Christmas gift, and the instructions went out with the pine needles many months ago.
Squint through your $12.99 spectacles at the photograph of an instruction book on the backside of the craft kit, and smile optimistically, though not entirely convincingly, at the circle of eager children.

Lay out the wide variety of ingredients that apparently constitute a fairy.
Plug in the hot glue gun.
Engross myself in the mystery of how to form a fairy from the rib of a craft kit, a handful of small ropes, and a felt wing.
Get right into the swing of the thing.

Look up some time later to notice that not a single child is left at the table. Only a fairy made out of strings.
And me.


Anonymous said...

Oh Joyce, my heart goes out to you. Just remember........this too shall pass (the snow I mean). You've been in my thoughts and prayers as I am tied to my computer doing taxes. Every once in awhile I allow myself a break to peek here - and a few of my other favourite blogs. I hope your weekend is filled with rest, sunshine and hope.
P..s My varification word is pareve - sounds like a tired repreve.

Sneppoc Einnod said...

My grandparents could have settled anywhere in the world...
Tahiti, Australia, Kenya, Hawaii, Tuvalu, Disneyland,

but noooo, they pick Whateverpeg????

Anonymous said...

what a serene fairy maker...
in a fairy making land...

Roo said...

!!! sounds (kinda) like my last few days. ;)

lettuce said...


looks as though you got a more than passable fairy out of it all tho

joyce said...

bah, ha Iennod. I happen to know that you are on a beach in Mexi-whatevah-CO! So. Not. Riding. Bike. In. Snow.

(She shuffles off to find fairy wings....)

Rosa said...

Boy does that ever remind me of Jillian Jigs and her wonderful pigs.

Jennie C. said...

I totally LOVE doing kids crafts - just not with kids :)

My Calgary sister invited me out for a 2nd Christmas, with presents and pumpkin pie - perhaps that would help?

coffeeloves said...

love the cup of coffee on the table with you....
i hate crafts especially ones with instructions.