- I look terrible in yoga pants
- I can never remember how many innings in game of volleyball.
- I wear sparkly hand-me-down socks that say "sweetheart" on them.
- I don't know the difference between a gig and a kilometer.
- I grew up having no idea who The Fonz was.
- I forgot to teach my kids about manners.
- having spent my money on sports trips, language trips, sump pumps, and gin, I never take my family to hike in the mountains.
- Elliptical machines look a lot like corsets with "eject" buttons to me.
- I'm always forgetting to shower and buy hair products.
- heels make me look like I've just endured surgery without anesthetic.
- I don't have a hot tub.
- I don't want a hot tub.
I'll just be outside in the yard playing tether ball.