Wrap it all up with punching a couple of holes where you didn't have holes before.
Pick a place where you can hear the sizzle of a large graphic tattoo being burnt into someone's butt just a doorway or two down the way.
Spare your daughters' friends from any piercings or permanent never-go-away-until-you-die-and-maybe-even-later drawings on their legs, arms, ears, or any other body parts.
Even if they beg.
Just so "no".
(mostly because you know their mothers WILL kill you)
Say "yes" to that upper ear piercing, and only realize some time later that your kid probably thinks that she can happily punch away at her body with sheer, sharp-objected abandon.
Be sure to set the record straight on that one before the sun finishes setting.
Begin to worry about her going out into the rain and various holes in her head causing leakage into her grey matter.
Then become preoccupied with how to alter your son's body now that he's thirteen.
Remember that he's not so interested in ink injections or chunks of metal getting pounded into his ears. He prefers treating his body in kinder and gentler ways.
Soft, creamy, smooth ways.
Like three flavours of ice cream that are his very own. No need to share with pesky siblings. No need to dirty any bowls. Only three questions for snacks, after lunch desserts, or a bad case of the munchies:
Or double chocolate?