Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Mom



My mother's attitude towards life has been a testament to me. Mom was in her forties when I came along, number 8 in a long line of healthy boys and girls. Her last hurrah, you could say. As a young child, I was aware of my parents being older than some of my friends parents, and wondered how long I would have a mom and dad, or whether they would ever have the privelege of grandparenting the children I hoped I would some day bring into the world.

Somewhere in the 1970's, mom decided that it would be a good idea to get some exercise , so after dinner every night she left me and my sister with the dishes and she walked a brisk two miles down our country road. This was no passing whim. Four seasons came and went many times, and mom would be out there, clearing her mind and moving her legs. In time, especially after mom and dad sold the farm and moved into town, dad began to join her on this daily walk.

My mom and dad are 83 and 79 now, and still going strong. They have spent many hours over the years contributing to their community with their volunteerism. Dad has been known to get up in the middle of the night to drive an "elderly" gentleman to the hospital for medical attention. Mom puts her nimble fingers to work every day sewing denim blankets out of discarded jeans from the local thrift shop; she bakes all her own bread, makes real noodles and perogies out of farm eggs and cottage cheese with no preservatives. They still live in their own home, with a spacious yard and garden that they tend with no hired help when the sun warms the earth in spring. They have a large crab apple tree at the edge of their property which they harvest together, dad climbing his step ladder placed onto the back of his trusty half ton truck to glean the apples that are out of reach. Then mom spends hours turning them into crab apple juice which we get to enjoy at Christmas, mixed into punch.

Every couple of weeks, dad uses his truck to pick up a load of day old bread from the grocery store and then delivers it to a downtown mission in the city. In recent years, dad has begun to move a little more slowly, but I don't think it crossed his mind that he might be getting on in years and so should stop giving of himself. Instead, they worked out a system of team work where mom was designated to climb onto the back of the truck and load the bread that dad passed up to her.

On their most recent bread loading excursion, as mom was coming down off the back of the truck, her feet slid on the ice and she was suddenly lying face up underneath dad's truck. Did this yogurt munching, walking machine rush off to the hospital? Nope. All those years of selfless , sensible living had made her bones and sense of resolve strong. Those underpriveleged people in the city needed their bread, so mom had to remain focussed, and not dwell on herself too much.

My mom is a testament to me. While some of my friends' much younger parents gave in to aches and pains and stopped giving so much of themselves, mom kept on giving and walking and serving. Not to seek glory for herself, not to make into some fitness magazine about the benefits of regular exercise. Mom just has a great no-nonsense attitude about her place in this life, and its certainly not all about herself.

My children have had the privelege of healthy grandparents for almost twelve years nowand I have had the honor of watching my parents make good, simple choices that will leave a legacy for generations to come.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's my Mom your're talking about! I was bragging about her at work this week. Truly an awesome example. Dad too. And Joyce, the blogger, is another one worth bragging about. She truly is awesome. In ten days she , I, and three other sisters are getting together for our annual sister weekend. Three days of laughing, eating,drinking, walking, crying, affirmation,honesty,encouragement, inspiration,and pure silliness. Laura - one of the "feel fortunate" sisters. Nah, nah, nah nah nah

Anonymous said...

A friend gave this to me last week. Thought you might enjoy it too.

SISTERS

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot, humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked her glass, looked in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter. "Don't forget your Sisters," she advised, swirling the tea at the bottom of her glass. "They'll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them. And remember that "Sisters" also means your girlfriends, your daughters, and other woman relatives too. You'll need other women. Women always do."
"What a funny piece of advice! the young woman thought, "Haven't I just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a Married Woman, for goodness sake! A grown-up. Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!"
But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact with her Sisters and made more woman friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her Mom really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, Sisters are the mainstays of her life. After almost 50 years of living in this world, here is what I've learned:

Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Love waxes and wanes.
Hearts break.
Careers end.
Jobs come and go.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Men don't call when they say they will.

BUT Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A Sister is never farther away than needing her can reach. When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it for You, your Sisters will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on, praying for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms. Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you. Or come in and carry you out.
My mother, sister, sisters-in-law, and "girlfriends" bless my life! The world wouldn't be the same without them, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorroows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we need each other. Every day, we need each other still.

Christy said...

What a blessing your Mom is. I am finding the people who are the quiestest and simplest touch me the most.

Laura and Joyce...would you guys adopt me please?!

Anonymous said...

Sure, we'll adopt you. As long as you're not perfect. We only accept imperfect people, because we relate better to them.

andrea said...

I want to be adopted, too! The kind of strong, healthy family you and Brian have created and come from (and illustrate on your blogs) are role models for those of us who come from more impoverished backgrounds (and I'm certainly not talking about money!).

Anonymous said...

Laura- YAHOO! you left a comment or three. And such lovely ones they are. You are an awesome sister and at least as strong and mighty as mom. 10 days and counting.... (boy , do I have some hoops to jump through......)

Christy & Andrea: You are IN! Please read the fine print, and sign in at your own risk. Then we'll tell you the unbloggables....I'll take extra sisters though, one can't have too many. Thanks for your kind words.

polarpegs said...

I have three sisters and I long for a close relationship where all four of us can be that to each other and yes my mom has joined the ranks of "I'm too old to do that" club. Perhaps your mom can give lessons to my mom.

I could go for being adopted by you gals as well.

Peg

Anonymous said...

Since we all want to be adopted, why don't we create out own family... I read that in a bood one time. saddly I was not blessed with a sister. So I adopt them here and there, when I see them. I was adopted to my family 35 years ago, and when my brother who was a biological child would make comments about me being adopted my mom would proceed to tell him that I was picked not like him, who just came along. Joyci, you are one of my picks! (Kath is ranked right up there too.)

Christy said...

Sure, we'll adopt you. As long as you're not perfect. We only accept imperfect people, because we relate better to them.

Gracious, I can show you imperfect that'll put hair under your armpits. ;)

joyce said...

OK, I love the way this blog is going- should we just build little tents on this mountain top?!
Shelley- what's a BOOD?! just kidding, brian and I had a few laughs at your expense this morning and considered really ribbing you for the misspell, but then I really didn't want to jeopardize my chances of ever getting more comments out of you....
Peg- there is room in the inner circle for you as well. You have to be a screwball though, if you want to fit in...
Christy- that would be helpful, since puberty seemed to be arrested in my body and I never really developed impressive under arm hair.....

I love you ALL and I couldn't live happily without ALL my sistas!!

Anonymous said...

bugger this bloging stuff, is not my bag of tea. I had a great comment for you and I tried to spellcheck and I lost the whole lot. So glad I could start your day with a healthy chuckle. You know you shouldn't poke fun at my weaknesses. someone out there tell me how to spell check in blog land.

Anonymous said...

O.K. If you guys are moving to a mountain top, I'm coming too. But make it a big, flattish mountain, because I'd like to bring along a bunch of my beautiful "local sistas"! And could we be heli-lifted up there because I don't pack light and I'm terribly out of shape.....

Anonymous said...

Great blog Joyce - a wonderful and true picture of our great mom. Where did you get that picture? It's GORGEOUS! Isn't she just the cutest?