Why I'm Ready for September

If I were as lovely as I sometimes pretend to be, I would be feeling sad about the change of season in the air, and the inevitability of school mornings to come. I would be dreading sending my beloved flock out the door when they'd rather be at home- blessing me with their presense, filling the air with song and laughter. I would be bemoaning the fact that my handsome life partner will get out of bed in the wee hours of the morning and speed off down the road to impart wisdom to his eager classroom full of school children.

I would smile benevolently each morning as my wiser-beyond-their-years offspring roll out of bed with touselled hair, schlump past the daycare kids (who came tidily dressed and already fed, probably something nutritious) on their way to the kitchen. There, (somewhere between 8:00 and 10:00 am) they will ever so independently prepare their own breakfasts- (from the three food groups, namely: chocolate milk, bread and nutella). Being creative and artistic by nature, they will unashamedly leave interesting trails of crumbs and splashes in their wake. Sammy's current form of artistic expression involves driving various small toys through the leftover milk on the bottom of his cereal bowl, then testing to see how the milk tracks vary when the toys drive across the table top. The various cups, drinking straws, bowls and spoons that the older children tend to leave on horizontal spaces (not limited to the table) are then very effective for creating that bold splash of colour that we hear so much about on popular home decorating channels.

I would be so appreciative of the helpful tidbits that my husband gives me when he pops into the house from working hard all by himself in the garage all day. I would nod and smile at the notion that the silly baby is headed towards the toilet again because I just haven't been paying attention (must have had my nose in a book again.....) I would leap at the chance to help move some heavy furniture out of the garage- what a blessing to spend just a few moments with an adult! I wasn't doing much of anything anyhow- just chucking a roast into the slow cooker for dinner that no one will be surprised will be ready at suppertime, just sweeping up 50,000 fridge magnets that mysteriously fell onto the floor, just fetching the laundry off the line before it starts to rain, just preparing grilled cheese sandwhiches for a crowd, setting the table for lunch, pouring drinks, serving lunch, then throwing half of it into the trash can...

Gosh, when they are all off at school, who will ask the question, "MOM! What are we doing today? We're BORED!", while tripping over $50,000 worth of toys, and glancing unimpressed at the trampoline, sandbox, and pool in the backyard. What will I do with my time without 12 pool towels to wash, dry, and fold before the next half hour when they all decide to go swimming again? How will I keep my conflict management skills sharp without Hildebrand sibling rivalry to manage?

If I were as nice as I wish I were, I'd be wiping a tear or two off my face on September the sixth. I'd be walking my little angels back to school and smothering them with hugs and kisses right at the school entrance. I'd reinterview all the teaching staff to ensure their qualifications for shepherding my tender sheep. Home again, coffee in hand, the house would feel hollow and echoey, and I'd have to take some time to redefine my role in the universe.

But I'm really just not that nice.