Movin' Up

So, I'd love to show you all the pictures of rock climbing, kayaking, backpacking, and well-digging that I've been busy with; but blogger won't allow me to upload pictures. Some sort of penance, I'm sure for neglecting my blog for so long.

So, let's talk mechanics.

We were given the oppurtunity to test drive a new-to-you van this weekend. Now, I knew what to look for in a van if I ever had a viable occasion to do so. In three long winters of zero heat on the passenger side of the caravan, working whilst I had some feeling left in my fingers; I've had plenty of time to compile a list of what to look for in the next family-totin'-mobile. After the fingers went blue and numb, I'd bury myself in the wool and chenille blanket that became a permanent part of the front passenger seat and dream of better days to come in some other van. Very romantic; that chennille.

My daughter had her own list, so the two of us set off on a ride together. She was most delighted to find that the speakers for the stereo were more than decorative; that the CD player was more than ornamental; and that Hot 103 was not exclusive to rusted caravans. We discovered cup holders without blobbed up gum; ashtray devoid of crumpled lotto tickets; carpet (There's carpet in vans?! I thought they came in gravel!), a hatch that opens without a hatchet; blinkers that turn off after you navigate a turn; a speedometer needle that varies its position depending on the acceleration; and a fully functioning gas meter. We found seats that recline; fans that blow; headlights that shine brighter than two teensey weensy pinholes in the dark.

We thought we had truly arrived now.
We celebrated by buying large packets of toilet paper at the most local Wal-Mart. Instead of cramming them past two bucket seats and launching them in the general direction of the rear bench seat, we sauvely santered towards the hatch and casually flicked that sucker open. What luxury. I gazed around me oh-so-subtle to see who was gazing at us in open wonderment and envy. Imagine a hatch that opens. Without hail mary's, tricks, hatchets, or anything.

Yup, we're movin' up in the world.
We'll likely be asked to be on some sort of tour of homes or something. Just so people can come around and see this van of ours. I think the van will likely overshadow the shifting deck; the muddy driveway, and the window trimming ever-so-slightly rotting off the side of the house.

I just hope we don't start intimidating common folk; is all.