Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Movin' Up

So, I'd love to show you all the pictures of rock climbing, kayaking, backpacking, and well-digging that I've been busy with; but blogger won't allow me to upload pictures. Some sort of penance, I'm sure for neglecting my blog for so long.

So, let's talk mechanics.

We were given the oppurtunity to test drive a new-to-you van this weekend. Now, I knew what to look for in a van if I ever had a viable occasion to do so. In three long winters of zero heat on the passenger side of the caravan, working whilst I had some feeling left in my fingers; I've had plenty of time to compile a list of what to look for in the next family-totin'-mobile. After the fingers went blue and numb, I'd bury myself in the wool and chenille blanket that became a permanent part of the front passenger seat and dream of better days to come in some other van. Very romantic; that chennille.

My daughter had her own list, so the two of us set off on a ride together. She was most delighted to find that the speakers for the stereo were more than decorative; that the CD player was more than ornamental; and that Hot 103 was not exclusive to rusted caravans. We discovered cup holders without blobbed up gum; ashtray devoid of crumpled lotto tickets; carpet (There's carpet in vans?! I thought they came in gravel!), a hatch that opens without a hatchet; blinkers that turn off after you navigate a turn; a speedometer needle that varies its position depending on the acceleration; and a fully functioning gas meter. We found seats that recline; fans that blow; headlights that shine brighter than two teensey weensy pinholes in the dark.

We thought we had truly arrived now.
We celebrated by buying large packets of toilet paper at the most local Wal-Mart. Instead of cramming them past two bucket seats and launching them in the general direction of the rear bench seat, we sauvely santered towards the hatch and casually flicked that sucker open. What luxury. I gazed around me oh-so-subtle to see who was gazing at us in open wonderment and envy. Imagine a hatch that opens. Without hail mary's, tricks, hatchets, or anything.

Yup, we're movin' up in the world.
We'll likely be asked to be on some sort of tour of homes or something. Just so people can come around and see this van of ours. I think the van will likely overshadow the shifting deck; the muddy driveway, and the window trimming ever-so-slightly rotting off the side of the house.

I just hope we don't start intimidating common folk; is all.

15 comments:

tanya said...

Congrats on the new van.

Roo said...

wow. congratulations. you are living my dream.

Anonymous said...

"diesent" Joyce that was fantastic, super, de-duper fun to read. I think I might feel kinda intimidated now when I'm at your house. I can just see you sauvely santering in the parking lot. Kathy

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your lastest addition to your family "the van"...may it bring all the joy you'd hoped for, cousin.

Anonymous said...

congrats on the new ride, isn't it nice?? Have a great day!

The Naked Chef

Anonymous said...

Hold on a minute...I'm not so sure that I want to sell this wonderful van now that you have made it sound so amazing. Maybe I have made a hasty decision or at the very least I need to double or triple the price! Let me ponder this.....

joyce said...

Is this a good time to bring up the impending massive increase in daycare rates?!

(you never knew how good you had it; eh? Boy, are we lucky!)

Anonymous said...

like I said, diesent!

Anonymous said...

Your funny Joyce...good read....L-lew

Anonymous said...

But what COLOUR is it??
.e.

Becky said...

Wow, Joyce....sounds like a sweet ride! We're on the verge of van-dom ourselves...with three youngens and all...and I'm actually looking forward to it! Although I'm sure ours would quickly have a fishy cracker/gravel floor:)

Anonymous said...

I can appreciate your excitement for a vehicle that has complete working parts! We just bought a "new to us" van 2 weeks ago after 8 years of things progressively breaking (like the odometer for 1 year!) One of the first comments from eldest son when asked what he liked the most about the van was "it's clean".
Enjoy!
Carolyn

Anonymous said...

It ain't tested until the transmission balks at leaving BB's estate!!!
BB

Anonymous said...

p.s.
I wish I was shopping with you, even if it was for large packets of t.p. at local walmart.
always in my thoughts.
BB

Anonymous said...

Be careful going to the BB's estate, that new van might get t. p. 'd and saran wrapped by the locals. We all need to know what colour? good read, had a good chuckle! BBNM