I was just feeling sorry for myself this morning, after sleeping on a crunchy, garbage bag enshrouded pillow, and mourning the heaviness of my favourite quilt which was freezing out on the deck. I walked past my olive oiled kids heads resting on their crunchy pillows and down the stairs to the bags and bags and bags of linens that I had laundred yesterday.
Straight to the coffee machine.
Stepped in animal by-product (stupid dog is a big suck. She doesn't like getting her poor princess feet cold on the snow and ice and prefers shitting in the house.) well, boo-frikkin'-hoo. I got enough problems of my own, thank you very much. Kitchen has been converted to a lice busting headquarters, thanks to the bright fluorescent light. (anybody e-mailing me and saying something cute about never eating at my house again- shut up. Invite me to your house for dinner then.)
It snowed overnight. Fifty million quiltsandjacketsandpillowsandstuffiesandsheetsandshirtsandpantsandragsandtowels are iced to the surface of the deck outside the back door. The porch is insulated with clear yard bags filled with de-contaminated product.
Better start the washing machine and dryer up for the day.
And run the vacuum.
And go strip the beds.
The kids will be up soon, and it will be time to go through their hair.
Better cancel Sam's carpool to kindergarten.
And Micah's haircut appointment.
And guitar lessons.
No tapas to look forward to tonight.
but then, you know what? My mommy phoned. And she was so sweet to me, and even offered to help me with laundry, which of course I said no to. The woman is 82, and she's not going to be driving through an ice storm to help her perfectly able bodied daughter to wash some stupid linens.
And then Cheri came. We had coffee and fudge. The very same Cheri who came to my house yesterday and picked nits out of my noggin.
And then a few hours later I got a delivery of Ruth's super special, top of the line cinnamon buns. These are not just any ordinary cinnamon buns. These are Ruthies- the kind of cinnamon buns that could have melted the cold war in five minutes flat if they had just sat down and given it a chance.
AND there was a deposit to our bank account that meant I could pay something, which always makes me feel happy.
And when Brian came home, he brought the mail. Which contained a package for me.
MY FIVE NEW PAIRS OF GLASSES THAT I BOUGHT ONLINE FOR A COOL $84.00!!!!!
And I love them all.
Want the website? Then get over here and do your fair share of delousing.
I may have lice. I may have four children with lice. But I have awesome, awesome glasses that look amazing with or without lice.
So much for feeling sorry for myself.... Now you're all going to wish that you were me!