Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Joyce Hates Barbie; And Other Relativisms

I really must watch that nanny show more often and learn more gentle words to express myself. Like: Not Appropriate.

When a three year old is going home and telling her Disney loving household that "Joyce hates barbie", suddenly "hate" sounds like such a strong word. Yet, somewhere in the distant annals of my mind, I can re-hear myself uttering such incriminatingly vile and odius words to anyone resembling an adult who comes within earshot of my serene, child-lovin' abode. I can.

But how would a parent feel if her child came home saying that the movies she brings to daycare from her own home are "not appropriate"? I may as well carry around a branding iron and just sting parents as they come in the back door. Plant a big old tattoo on their forehead that says "You suck and I hate the movies you buy for your kid". hmmmm..... Nope. That seems kind of strong as well. A branding iron that says "totally unaccep-able"? hmmmm... things to market.

But I digress. Is it barbie that joyce hates? Well, mostly the way she behaves in her movies. Mean. And skinny. I hate her.

Oh, boy. Well, another reason I really can't go out and advertise myself too aggressively.

Joyce
Home Anyway.
Hates Barbie.
She probably slaps your kid too,
the second you are out the door.


Besides, if I went out and advertised, that would take all the fun out of our walk to the post office. The walk that we take to get away from that pink backpack stuffed full of barbie movies.
The post office where the little old ladies with blue-ish hair peer over at us with sentimentality and sigh;

"Are they all yours?"

How crushed they would be if they only knew that not only did I not have two babies every 5.5 months for years on end, I also torture their toys.

I'm sorry barbie. Its not that I hate you exactly.
Its just that in your movies, I find you to be really inappropriate, and totally inacceptable.

And I hate that.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate Barbie too but I haven't seen her movies. What a silly model of successful women we give our daughters. Gotta be skinny with lots of nice clothes and ken will love you. riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Anonymous said...

My blessed cherubs have recently come to be in your care. I'm wondering how you feel about...So I Married an Axe Murderer, American Pie, and High School Musical 1,2,&3?

Sincerely,
Questioning my daycare choices.

Roo said...

my vote is for the branding iron.:)

by the way, on a different note though not totally a different topic -- my wee 4 and 5 year old nephews went to a birthday party for a 5 year old....and the "party games" were video games. (i won't even try to remember what they are called cuz i'll embarrass myself with my lack of "gaming" kknowledge.)
is it just me or is that crazy?????

Roo said...

ps although i can identify with the addiction as in my youth i have been known to play hours and hours of PAC MAN. (wooo!) and then when TETRIS came out i nearly became a hermit.

;)

tanya said...

When I think of Barbie, I'm SO glad I have boys.

Melanie said...

Diddo to what Tanya said. Ya for boys and their trucks.

Anonymous said...

Aren't you the one with the picture of Barbie as your profile?

joyce said...

yeah, but did you look at my barbie? REALLY look at her?
Look where being skinny and dense got her. All scarred up, with bad toni hair, one bad eye, bad animal print tube top, and something suspicious hanging out of her mouth.

I rest my case.

Valerie Ruth said...

i hate barbie too! apparently with her measurements, if she was an average sized adult she wouldn't even be able to walk due to the size of her breasts. what an unrealistic portrayal of a woman.

Jennifer P said...

I'm so glad I have a son.

Anonymous said...

I always wanted a Barbie. Guess I could buy my own now, but somehow it's not the same. Sister Laura

PamJ said...

cabbage patches may be the way you want to go!

Anonymous said...

Not really. I wanted the Barbies so I could sew outfits for them. Come to think of it - I don't want to sew Barbie clothes anymore, so life without Barbies should be just fine. Don't want Cabbage Patch anymore either. Got those out of my system in the ;80's. What I'd really like now is someone to sew clothes for me that will be super comfy and make me look as good as Joyce.