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Monday, March 15, 2010

Happy, I guess....


My firstborn.

My daughter.

Great kid.
She's growing up.....
In eleven days, she'll be at the airport headed for Paris, France.
The french and german classes from high school are headed off to tour France, Germany, and a wee little bit of Austria. When the tour is over, she'll be meeting her sister, her cousin, and her two aunties. Together they will travel to Rome, Italy where my brother is employed by the UN WFP. They'll see where their cousins, auntie, and uncle live. They'll spend a week doing as the Romans do.
And we're not talking Morris Manitoba here.
It's been almost a year of planning, working, saving, anticipating.
And for mama, back here wiping baby bums? A whole lotta letting go.
And my mommy heart is *ooooooooooooooh* its aching.
But I'm happy.... I guess.

14 comments:

Mary K. said...

Hey Schwester, someone asked me yesterday why I wasn't going? Why AM I not going??? anyway... you are fortunate to have 2 lovely daughters who can make this trip with their cousin and their lovely aunties. They'll make great memories...
Schwester Mary

joyce said...

yeah. WHY are you NOT going??
Fortunate, indeed. And with grandma K praying for safety, my baby should be all right. Right??

Anonymous said...

Hey Joyce - a year and half ago, my then 19 year old decided to hop on a jet (first time ever for her) and go visit relatives we, none of us, had ever met and also tour around England, Scotland and France on her own for 7 weeks. She saved up every penny on her own and bought lots of her travel stuff too, with some help from us. It was the hardest 7 weeks ever, as she was also going thru some major undiagnosed depression issues at the time. We were able to keep up with disjointed 10 minute late night conversations, facebook, texting and emails. Thank whoever for technology! Anyway, the long and short of it is this.

She was very nervous, We were also very nervous, she was lonely, had a great time with relatives, new friends and just alone. We were jealous and wished we were there too.... She came home, plane delayed in Paris, missed 3 different flights out of Toronto due to being full etc and finally picked her up late at night. Her exhausted but ready to share all her goodies on the way home in the backseat of the car. And I just drank in her face, her hands, her voice, her hair. 2 days later, she was back to being her old self again. Her grumpy, moody, lovable old self. Now she has moved out - just 15 miles away and I really miss her, even more than before, because she has a significant other who takes all her time and we only see her once a week - maybe, maybe not. Hardly ever talk on the phone - me at work, her at work, her sleeping because she worked nights. I miss her more now than ever (and worry about her too, mostly because she doesn't really need me anymore :( )....

The Naked Chef

joyce said...

Thank you chef. My lump is getting watery now. I feel choked.

Boy, do we love our kids, eh? crazy.

Roo said...

oh mama. that's hard. i used to travel alll over the world and my mama would stress cuz i would arrive (alone) in big cities in the middle of the night and find my way to my accomodations and just do things that i thought were totally FINE but made my mama worried. and i'd roll my eyes and say, "oh MOM, i'm an adult!"

and now i'm a mama...and things have changed. and i just hope my heart can handle all of it. ya know?

Karla said...

You raised great, strong, smart, capable daughters. You're a great momma.

Lisa said...

Oh Joyce, I understand the aching heart thing......my babies aren't flying all over the world BUT......they are growing up. And as much as I'm so very proud of who they have become (and are becoming) it hurts too. Graduation is just around the corner for my oldest and my youngest is finishing elementary school this year. So there are a lot of changes going on.
Thanks for sharing ~ It makes me feel better to know other moms find it hard to let go too!
Hey! I'm NORMAL!!

janice said...

My baby, my oldest, my one and only is 17, graduating, and planning to move away for Uni. I can relate totally to the mixed emotions of pride in her independence and wanting to HANG ON when you know letting go is the thing to do.

Congratulations, Mom, you raised her well, and she is stretching her wings. Congratulations to the young lady who worked so hard for the trip.

Lori said...

Because you were a good and caring Mom, your daughter now has the confidence to go out and do this exciting, scary, thing.

Anonymous said...

We are always "mommy". MK

Heather Plett said...

Oh wow - that's huge! I had a hard enough time letting my oldest go to Quebec for a week - not sure how I'll handle an ocean-crossing!

But how very lucky for her!

mmichele said...

I think my primary emotion would be jealousy!

Anonymous said...

Sometimes my heart hurt so much I thought I'd die...but I'm still here and that was years ago. Now we get to go visit in BC often to see them and their kids....and the heart does get used to it. If we din't love so much we wouldn't hurt so much...so what do we want? Cousin Roselle

Anonymous said...

Roselle, I love you, I've always loved you. Kathy