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Sunday, January 29, 2012

On Why I'm Considering a Full-Blown Mid-Life Crisis

Having spent portions of a glorious Saturday perusing Winnipeg's "Ragpickers : The Unfashion Emporium", I'm gripped by the fear that I've missed my true calling. I ought to be dressed in a pale blue tutu from 1951, bangles jangling on my wrists, and feet slipped into well-worn secondhand cowboy boots. I was meant to finger old linens with intricate histories and armed with needle, thread, and an enamel bowl full of ancient buttons, I ought to be repurposing and breathing life back into the garments of yesteryear.

I should be busy with interior design, re-selling the turquoise and orange housewares from another time, and fashioning all manner of art from the world's discards. My weekends and weekdays should find me at estate sales, yard sales, auction sales.

My closet should be spilling out into my shop, where I putter and rearrange to my hearts' content.

And that's just the tip of the ever growing pile of textiles.
My children.
Ought to have grown up raising chickens instead of mastering levels on video games.
They ought to be concerned about global events and gathering signatures on petitions instead of texting someone at school who they don't even like.

I should be secure.
I shouldn't be struggling with the same pains and fears that I remember from the age of twelve and onward. I should be over that by now. I should be running seminars to expound on the secrets of no longer being haunted by my twelve year old self.

And those are just a few of the reasons why I'm considering having a full blown mid-life crisis.
Can you relate? Do you have reasons of your own?

10 comments:

mmichele said...

yes yes YES to the raising chickens. or maybe sheep.

Mary KG said...

NOT having my own biological children could be my mid-life crisis, tho I really do like my children who were gifted to me and I sure like my grandchildren. Maybe I could have a crisis over what to call my etsy shop. Hmmmm that doesn't sound serious enough. How about a crisis over what to have a crisis about??
Schwester

Judy said...

I think I am having a way-past-mid-life-crisis right now.
Though I can't be sure. I never know what I'm doing until I'm done doing it and have thought it all through.
Case in point: My youngest son and his wife are expecting their first child any day now. He recently told me what they had prepared and asked if I thought they were ready.
Oh. My. Goodness. It is the honest truth that I'm still not ready for HIS arrival.
Thankfully I had the presence of mind to save his favorite childhood toy and a book we used to read together (well, at least more than once!).
My life is very good, but really - sometimes it seems like its just one crisis after another.

Pennerfive said...

I wanna come on your crisis with you!! Take me, take me!

My crisis is myself. But you know that already. See?? I'm having a crisis - so save me a seat on the bus!

xo
Karla

Rosa said...

Ive met those people look really cool on the outside but it takes so much work and anxiety to keep it up. Your cool is sooooo much easier to be around. I don't want you to change Joyce.

janice said...

My eternal struggle with ' the same pains and fears that I remember from the age of twelve and onward' is an old friend. It is comfortable like old shoes and perhaps I would miss it, if it was gone. Maybe I would enjoy it more if I was a talented writer, and could share it on the interwebs, like you.

My question: What would a Joyce mid-life crisis look like? You go girl, have one, if you think it would help! Or have some wine and chocolate and retail therapy, and call it a mid-life crisis.

joyce said...

I'D LIKE it if the KIDS had raised the chickens. I could probably still do that, but I haven't so far. And I think our rown still has bylaws prohhibiting chickens. But a more organic childhood is a way in which I feel I've failed the children. But I'm good at worrying about really weird things like that.

Mary, if you have to study WHAT to have a crisis about, then you're not a good candidate for a true crisis. Sorry, you're out. You're too well, too happy. so sorry.

Judy- I think you and I think at about the same speeds. And I'm not talking speedy. Part of my crisis is looking at that baby I had a few minutes ago who is about to graduate high school an dbecome a legit adult. She's gorgeous and sensible, and will do a fine job of it. But I'm not even a grown up yet, so how could she be one?! And yours are having babies. wowza.

Karla, we'll have so much fun on our midlife bus. we'll learn to dance and throw candy wrappers out of the bus windows without a second thought about the environment. Or maybe we'll just have some fantastic conversations.

Thanks, Rose. That means a lot, it really does. I think I'll still wear the tutus though. and more weird boots. Just more weird clothes in general.

Janice, I am just doing some reading right now about being "comfortable with our old, familiar discomforts". and how we maintain them because they are like old friends. Discomfort can produce growth in new directions, and instead of acting out in bizarre ways to have a crisis, I thinnk Ill find the courage to make myself uncomfortable, and pursue some change instead.

A fantastical crisis would involve quitting my day job, parking a boler in the backyard, just to sit in it, and be away from the house and all its pressures and concerns. I'd dress in random gypsy clothing, spend all my days creating things, and maybe put a heater in my boler and declare myself a writer. I'd wait there for oppurtunity and recognition to come knocking on my camper door. Then I'd spend some years doing book signing in coffee infused bookstores. I'd expand my line of "repurposed art" to include table runners, banners, pillow tops, quilts, and more.

But I'm not willing to put my kids at risk. I want to provide for them, and then possibly have that delicious crisis. Meanwhile, I'll continue dabbling in all those textile rich ideas.

joyce said...

oh, and I'll also stop being patient with my offspring if I go on a full blown bender. I'll start screaming at them and calling them names. (see, I can't do that. Can't. Can only imagine it but then know that its a terrible, reckless, selfish idea)

Anonymous said...

I too am trying to postpone my crisis until my kids are out of the house. Then maybe I won't screw them up (HA!) Then I will give it my all. Maybe. Yeah, as if I can determine when my crisis will be. I think I am already in the middle of the storm. (grad dress shopping!)
VB

joyce said...

hello, GRAD DRESS SHOPPING!!
A total camel back breaker. wow.
two trips down, and still struggling. How is your dress scene coming along?!