Happy Fifteenth Birthday, Jane

You've changed quite a bit within the years that I've known you.

My sweet cherub. I can still feel the way you felt in my arms. All curly and sweet- sensitive and pretty from the very start. I was so thrilled to have you, my girl.

We loved mucking around outside! Every afternoon after your daddy left for work we would walk to the park in the green wagon. We would look at the trees, swing on the swings, talk to the birds, and climb on the big rocks.

You've always been creative and artistic. Lucky you were born in a family that took puddle splash walks every spring, believed in licking the beaters, and thought that learning how to waterpaint by one and a half was a reasonable thing to do.

My curly, twirly girlie.

You're not three any more. You're just as precious, charming, fascinating, and special to me as you were in that little kitty cat dress.

You'll always have a safe place to call home, and I'll always do my best to understand you.

You'll keep changing, and that's the way it's meant to be.

I love you.

Happy Birthday.

Micah-Roni

Hey, Micah. You're thirteen today. Yesterday I told you that I'd better take a long, hard look at you because you'd never be the same again; and I was right. You're thirteen now, but not that long ago you were my wee baby.

So precious and beautiful you are.

We were all so happy that you had arrived- that we could study you, hold you, get to know you.

You started to balance out the female dominance of the place.

Your sisters were so proud. (Arianna, circa 1998, age almost 4)

(sweet Jane, just days from being two whole years old...)

You fit right in because we made room for you.

Besides, you were a wonder to us all.

Yes, your sister looks like a freak. You shouldn't let it scare you so.

Because there was so much love to go around. There still is, little brother.

When your baby brother came around, you were SO PROUD!! You told everyone with an ear; "I'nna Big Brudder Now!" And it's an important role that you've always been so good at. I love to see you and your brother together.

You are part of a pretty special family.

Like your Uncle Ken used to be known to say; "There's a lot of love in this dysfunctional family".

Look at you there- your silly humour has always made me laugh. You've always had the most interesting and wonderful way of looking at life.

Nothing would be anything without you.

I love you kid.

I'm ready to start on a whole new journey with you- the last big leg of you becoming a man.

I know you'll keep being awesome because I know how beautiful your heart is.

Just a few things I'd like for you to remember:

Never move away from home. You can count on living in your mother's basement well past forty.

Never grow up. (be dysfunctionally dependent so that I'll always have you around)

Never stop believing in ice cream.

Never wear anything but royal blue t-shirts.

Always love unicorns and ponies.

Happy Birthday, boy.

You, I love.

Things That I Learned On My Way To Mall of America

When it comes to rides.... Brian has more guts than I do. Points to him for doing the crazy roller coaster with his almost grown-up kid.

That sometimes a ride isn't so much about the ride as it is about posing for the camera.

That standing around and watching someone draw a caricature of your kids only increases ones fondness for them.

That bringing a camera into a restaurant and using it while waiting for a table is wildly, unforgivingly embarrassing.

(and makes me feel really powerful....)

That I'm in the right profession.

I studied kids and parents everywhere, and although I know that it's unsophisticated to say so- My Goodness! Parents sure can be mean to their kids these days! I found myself feeling much more forgiving of my own irritability and shortcomings when I realized that I've NEVER called my child (or your child) STUPID, nor have I threatened to leave them behind in a foreign country for burning their muffin. (is it ok that I've fantasized about leaving children in foreign countries?? Please tell me that it is....) Nor have I yelled at my kid for slipping on a wet floor at a water park, or intentionally rammed the back of their ankles with my shopping cart when they weren't walking fast enough for my liking.

I practically feel like Mary Poppins.

That I'm running out of little kids of my own. And while listening to the wailing and tantruming of other people's kids made me relieved that mine were older; I felt a real sadness at the ending of an era. I've never been great with change, and I feel like I need a whole new set of skills for the upcoming ten years of parenting.

Just when I was getting a hang of the younger years.....

That IKEA has a really great chair. But that I prefer to spend my money $7.00 at a time... Over and over and over again.

Which is why I make a point of scouting out a few thrift shops wherever I am. Some of the greatest $4.99 skirts live there.

My husband also believes in the "more is more" philosophy. Which is why when he shops for green sauce at Target, the staff has to radio the guy in the Tabasco Vault to bring out the reserves.

He puts that sh*t on everything.

That maybe my church has talked up this whole IHOP movement just a lot. I didn't find it to be all that life-changing....

I learned that with a pocket full of change, you really can have it all.

On my way to Mall of America and back, I learned that "American breakfast" means all foods white, sweet, and packaged. I learned that there is an entire mall full of tiny sizes with entire families of obese people shopping in it. I learned that if you stay at a hotel whose biggest boast is: Free Internet!! it probably means that the wallpaper and the carpet don't match; the hallways aren't heated; and the early morning clientele lining up for the BLEACHED breakfast are heading out early to shoot something in a nearby wooded area.

I learned that kids grow up fast, hotel pillows don't feel like mama's pillows, and Famous Dave's makes a mean margarita. I learned that Fleet Mills Farms sells large bags of candy AND fishing licenses. They also sell nifty t-shirts that say things like: "Keep your guns in the right place-- YOUR HAND!" I learned that "all you can eat" buffet restaurants might not have been America's brightest idea. I learned that some people think that gravy goes with biscuits, and it's something you might want to eat with your morning coffee.

I learned that a road trip with my husband and my offspring was a really good idea.

And the best part of it is coming back home again.