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Thursday, September 17, 2009

What I Learned At The Self Check-out

  1. That Superstore will never hire me to run one of those other check-outs where impatient people parade past you with their foodstuffs and watch you scan and scan and scan.
  2. That those bar codes are hidden in the most ingenious locations.
  3. That when the machine-lady says; "Put your item in the bag"-- you'd best just get to it.
  4. That if you pay with cash, it's easy to hear the coin portion of your change and thereby locate it.
  5. But that change which involves $5 dollar bills... there are no sound effects. This variety of change is much trickier to locate, and may involve pressing the "help" selection.
  6. That if the self check-out attendant and you are having drinks and sharing recipes by the end of the check-out process; it's just possible that you may not be cut for this line of work.


Anonymous said...

Good morning, Joyce! I'm Sandee Pauls, a colleague of Brian's at Kleefeld. We've met at various staff functions, I believe. I'm not really the memorable sort though. I remember you because I have read many of your posts and enjoyed them thoroughly. I admire your honesty, vulnerability and chutzpah. I've thought about blogging too, but don't know if i have the courage or the motivation.

Don't laugh - I need your help. Now, I said don't laugh - and don't be mad, kay? Would you please help Brian remember to return his library books???? I have reminded him kindly, on several occasions, sternly on others, laughingly once. He has had them over summer and they want to come home now.Children want to read The Perfect, Gentle Knight (wouldn't you?) so would you please help him! Thanks, in advance!

joyce said...

hee hee, ha ha. I nagged him straight out the door, armed with books. (so if he doesn't come in with them; make him go out to the van to find them!)

I won't ask you to phone Jake Epp Library to kindly stop nagging US about a certain overdue book...
Now, before you pounce on Brian- it's not him this time. It's his daughter.


Judy said...

I am sooo not a fan of those check-outs.

Also, I'd much rather pay someone to bag for me and load my purchases into my car.

No wonder jobs are short.

I've been thinking of starting a 'degree' program for toilet cleaning and diaper changing. Only those with said 'degree' would be able to partake in these activities and I would FINALLY feel qualified to do them.

Sorry. I shall have to go rant on MY blog.

joyce said...

hmmm. To qualify for this job would require intensive mind training and probably a lot of unnecessary paperwork. You could do what I do- I've decided that if my father asks me ONE MORE TIME what it is that I went to university for? I will answer him with thus: "Dad, I got my MPCD".
(Masters in Pediatric Care and Development). I may add or detract capital letters as I deem necessary.

mmichele said...

DAMN those self checkouts. I despise them.

Anonymous said...

Thanks a million, Joyce! That worked like a charm! Brian came into the library with a little sheepish grin and I got to rag on him a bit and send him off to school. Beauty! You're a beauty!

Thanks and salutations from the book lady.