Thursday, November 16, 2006

Ugly Meditations

I may need an intervention before "ugly sweater day". I have found myself seeing my house through entirely different eyes recently. No longer as a slap-happy, easy-going, come-on-in daycare provider... but more like a grown up adult entertainer. Well, then again no. Obviously, I'm not an adult entertainer. I think I meant to say "hostess", although I think people would be entertained by the nasty pink horizontal blinds. They came with the house and I've not taken them down because they proved helpful at dinner when the blaring sun was setting in our eyes. I think guests may be entertained by the bannister I primed three years ago. That's all. Just primed. Additionally the "window treatment" in the bathroom may choose an inoppurtune time to fall under the weight of three solid years of settling dust.

Will my guests be so dazzled by the array of bad-ass sweaters and jello molds that they can overlook the lack of baseboards in my kitchen? My swelling melonime cupboards? The back door that sticks? Will I find the time to get to the store to stock up on enough cans of tuna to replace the corny couch legs?

After a summer of watching my brother evaporate, I vowed to entertain more often. I promised myself I would invite people in to share my space, my food, my life. I became more convinced than ever that it would be faulty to wait. Wrong to worry whether or not people would have a good time. Foolish to fret over whether there would be enough food and drink. Irrelevant to wonder whether I ought to be a different type of hostess than the person who I am.

So, come. Let's live our lives together then, and celebrate.
(But, I'm up now, and on my way to do something with that filthy bathroom curtain....)


Anonymous said...

Funny, I never noticed your pink blinds. I would love to be at your party. Once more you have inspired me. And Thanks for coming to my house. It just wasn't long enough. Not enough time. Not enough visiting. Too much going on. I love my sisters. Laura

Anonymous said...

you must stop by some time, unannounced. you'll find a bathroom that needs assistance, crumbs on the counter, and a 12 year project house that everyone says "has potential." I am SO SICK of potential. however, that is what it is.
i may not have snacks on hand, but i am rarely out of coffee or red wine.

joyce said...

Laura- yes, it was a tease, but I'm not sorry for a moment that we took the trek. thanks for letting us.

Michele-- OOOooh, you I like! you've got the really important stuff well stocked.
I don't REALLY care about what people "think" of my house. I love it here, and I just want to fill it with even more good memories. Still, even though people stop by here unannounced all the time, and I LOVE IT, it seems somewhat more acceptable for one's house to be in shambles when the company is uninvited. Is that why I prefer it that way?
The truth is, I CAN"T WAIT!

jb said...

i love your attitude joyce, it's something i can definitely grow in. i'm glad you don't care what your house looks like, because most people WON'T care either when they find a warm, loving hostess inside. that's all that matters, right? i need to take a lesson from that. when will i stop worrying about what people think?!?

joyce said...

Jude- so glad you commented- that means you're coming, right?

Let me tell you, its been a long learning process. I used to be utterly paralyzed at the thought of feeding people. Then I observed people whose attitude I liked. The sort of people who seem comfortable and unapologetic in their own home. I watched and I learned that a hot dog wrapped in a slice of bread with a friend can be a really delicious, memorable meal.
Thank you for your kind comment.

Heather Plett said...

I was once warmly welcomed into a house made of cow dung by a gracious and hospitable African woman, and ever since then I have been determined to adopt her attitude and stop worrying about the holes in my couch and the stains on my carpet. I wish I could say I've been remarkably successful ever since. Sigh. But I try, and I guess that's what counts.

I think the sweaters will overshadow the pink blinds. I have an ugly lace curtain in my entrance window - I could bring it along to compliment your pink blinds. (Yes, that means I'm considering coming, if you send your address. I'll try to round up Linda, Michele, and Yvonne too - those girls know how to party!)

Anonymous said...

Great blog! First time here.

You could have been looking in my window and describing my house! When did these things happen? When did I quit finishing a task once I started it? I have about 100 things on my to do list and have halfway finished all of them.

Please post pictures of ulgy sweater party. I can't wait to see.

Anonymous said...

Well Joyce, maybe you should come and visit my house before next Friday and you'll feel soooo much better.
I love the hostess attitude that you've adopted! I'm looking forward to finally meeting you and your friends.

Anonymous said...

YAH! I go through this alllllll theeeeeeee time. back and forth, suddenly sucked into a black hole of materialism i don't even believe in.

i want to walk in the spirit of that more. to feed people and not my envious selfish heart.

my mom was telling me about harry lehotskys funeral yesturday. wow.

speaking of living life outside of yourself.....


joyce said...

Ruth-- you surprised me there with your alias. Rufus. I like that.

I think you know just exactly what I mean, thank you.

Vicki- thank you for coming. I've been trying to check out your blog today but my career keeps getting in the way...

Anonymous said...

I am a collector of stuff, and my stuff collects dust.

Someday, my house will do what Madame Blueberry's house did in that one Veggie Tales video.

I wish I could come.

But I cannot wear a sweater.

I am the cause of the melting of the polar iceburgs.

Judy -

Anonymous said...

My standards are not very high. With my new kitchen floor, I have decided to take Michele's advice and only mop it when my socks stick to it. All I ask of a hostess is that there is no pee on the toilet seat when I sit down. Otherwise, I'm okay with dust bunnies (I'm still chasing them) and primed bannisters. Hey, at least it's primed!

Anonymous said...

Im a man pleaser and I hate it! I find myself playing that same game in my head... but really who cares. Friends come to visit friends not their houses. I love coming to your home! all of you are in for a great treat.

Anonymous said...


Good for you to go ahead with the party. Growing up, whenever company was coming, my mom would whip us all into a cleaning frenzy. I think more times than not it was to avoid judgement rather than respecting the guests. It's an interesting line between etiquette and fretiquette.