Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Coffee Snob

There are a few truly great priveleges of being human, and good coffee ranks very high on that scale. Growing up on the farm, instant coffee was standard fare. No waste. Easy to prepare cup by cup, and available morning, noon, and night. At combining season, instant coffee was good to drink hot or cold in a dusty thermos on the field. Dad said that nothing quenched his thirst quite like coffee. (Hah! to those people who think coffee is evil and dehydrates. Dad is a ripe eighty-five. See how good coffee is?!) On Sundays if we had visitors for faspa, the actual coffee maker would come out and we'd have "drip" coffee. Special treat. That never got wasted either, and small children were often introduced to their first table food by being fed "kaffe brucke" by some toothless old relative. This is a delicacy made up of a thick piece of bread laid in a saucer and covered with hot coffee, thick cream, and white sugar. Mmmmmm. Yummy, nutricous baby food. Ah... the good old days.

With adulthood came the shunning of instant coffee, and the habitual employment of the coffee maker. One quickly learned the difference between the bargain stuff brewed at the office, the swamp water offered at church potlucks, the overly sweetened abominations whipped up at 7-11 or Robins Donuts, and a simply well brewed cup of java.

By the time we'd been married for a bit, we graduated past Maxwell House, and Edwards, and found ourselves devoted to the flavours of Folgers. This was good coffee, in our estimation. Then along came that fateful Christmas when a friend gifted Brian with a coffee bean grinder and we began the great bean hunt. Most of the time, we remained committed to our Folgers, but for the Sundays of our lives, we ground beans and brewed fresh coffee. The smell of those fresh ground beans granted us the same rush as that first whiff of YUM when the seal of a new can of Folgers got opened. We'd been known to mutually inhale and sigh into those cans of folgers.

Well, in time.... some honest friends of ours began to look down their noses at our mediocre, under-cultured ideas of ecstacy, and introduced us to a particular brand of espresso beans.

We've never looked back. We're spoiled for the common world now. Funerals, weddings, family gatherings, hotels, gas stations, and yes, even Tim Hortons have become sources for the condition of coffee snobbery to rear its ugly head. The delicacies of the bean are indiscernable. The flavours are too watered down. The mugs are all wrong.

And that is where I find myself on this sunny morning in April. Out of beans.
There's an elderly can of Folgers in the downstairs freezer and half a can of The Great Canadian Coffee languishing high up in the cupboard. It all tastes like mud to me. No delicacy, no distinguishing of rich bean flavour.

Having recently taken an entire week off of work, the plan was to ease off on the "unnecessary" grocery shopping to take some of the bite out of the trip to the Hat and a week without wages.

But I waver in my loyalties. I find myself grieving the reliable cup of rich java to comfort me in my 6:00 am attempts to start the day.

Maybe I'll go a week without toilet paper and food instead.

26 comments:

mmichele said...

and the brand of bean is?

i'm not loyal to any one bean, though i do love kicking horse the best, i think.

starbucks komodo dragon is up there, as well. esp. because i get it free from my nephew from time to time.

i usually get fair trade from mcc. i know someone who knows someone who orders it in bulk so it's cheaper.

i have a bag of caffeinated beans here that you can pick up because i no longer dare to regularly drink full test coffee. (the bag is sealed and fresh!)

oh dear. i'm sure i've gone on for too long.

Linda said...

All I need is one REALLY GOOD CUP OF COFFEE per day. Freshly ground beans (provided by my son, Michele's nephew) in a French press.

I think I would do without the TP for a week too, if it meant that I could have my cofee.

Roo said...

i understand this. a few years ago when i was on a very, very, VERY limited income and was a homeless (but happy) wandering hippie i used to live off the cheapest food i could find (noodles, oatmeal....dry bread) just so i could afford MY specialty coffee. And my necessary daily stop at the coffee shop.

Anonymous said...

Like Michele,I love the fair trade coffee beans from MCC. But as a student in seminary with no prospects of ever making a good wage in the ministry, I daren't splurge and help the poor farmers of Columbia. So I've settled on Melita brand beans from Superstore. ;]

Anonymous said...

Since we're sharing our prefrences...let me say mine ie Java Club from....Costco. I may still have some Kicking Horsearound too.These days I drinf dark roast yerba instead of coffee at times and quite enjoy it. Rosella

Anonymous said...

...just one more thing with all those typing errors I think I'll go make some coffee.

Leanne said...

Amen, sister.

Go for the good coffee - do not succumb to the folgers! Even in the depths of financial schooling despair we would splurge on good coffee beans. Eat lentils and beans and whole grains. Give up meat. It's a lot cheaper...and then you get toilet paper AND coffee.

joyce said...

all your concise descriptions have sent me shamelessly digging in my trash can past the soggy green beans, rolled up diapers, piles of swept up dust and flour, to get down to the bag of empty beans so that I can remember WHAT it is that we buy. It's superstore fare, called Whole Bean Coffee (a poor title for a good coffee). I like West Coast Dark Roast, or Espresso. Please go easy on me, if that shows my lack of true finesse. My sister also introduced me to the Americano at Starbucks on our Alta trip. It's good black. but their prices are outrageous.

gloria said...

i am a fair trade coffee bean drinker too... the William brand, sold in Costco is absolutely delightful! i have 3 bags in my pantry (it was on sale)and is about $15.00/kg

Becca said...

From one coffee snob to another: we even take our grinder and coffee beans when we visit my family. Although, my mother has definitely been known to stash some good roasts...

Before I married James, I bought ground flavored coffee from the dollar store and thought it was special. Gone are those days. We stock up on the organic, fair-trade beans as they go on sale...they must be black and oh so oily. Delish!

Anonymous said...

I found myself yelling at the Melita Receptionist when I phoned to complain about and entire kg bag of Espresso being dry . She claimed that not all coffee has an oily appearance. I stopped her there and explained that theirs did. I'd been drinking it for 2 years and was completely over the edge adicted and could she please just shut up and get me another bag because I live in Boissevain where there seams to be no one who knows what real coffee tastes like and my next trip to Brandon was two weeks away. I think she senced my tone of desperato and sent me some very generous coupons. I think that the water used is also a very big factor in the whole process. Absolute best coffee I've ever had Joyce was at Brent and Carolines. He orders his beans green and imploys a roaster grinder drip machine to it. So dark so mallo so org... No stop me now....

joyce said...

Rosa, I remember being at Brent and Carolines and seeing/tasting/hearing about the extent they went to for good coffee. I remembered hoping Brian wouldn't hear about it, as I feared we'd have to increase our line of credit.....

Hmmmmm. Now we both work full time.... Time to revisit the possibilities?

Anonymous said...

This post didn't help me on my journey to switching to green tea for good. Not at all.

I too am a coffee snob and I'll turn my nose up to most brands. Especially Tim Hortons...YUCK.

Kicking Horse is where it's at.

But that's all for weekends now. I've given into promises of weight loss and healing that green tea will provide me. Boooooo

Anonymous said...

Well, I'll keep loving Tim Horton's coffee, but not the stuff made at home. As for home, Nabob is the best - but the water really does make a difference. Folgers will do if in a pinch. Edwards will do in a pinch as well.
Mary

Crystal said...

I am also a self-confessed coffee snob. Unfortunately for me, the best beans I have ever had are the organic beans grown and sold in Antigua and surrounding areas in Guatemala (FRESH!!!). I brought back 20 lbs in my carry-on my last trip because they were the only things in my possession that I couldn't bear to lose should my checked baggage go AWOL (which it did).

I got my bag searched on our way out of the country because apparently 20 individually wrapped one pound bags of coffee look like 20 kilos of cocaine when viewed through an x ray machine. :)

I'll bring you a bag on my next trip.

Anonymous said...

Coffee beans are a must....lucky for us Guy has a friend who owns a Second Cup and he sells us the huge bags wholesale....I have never tried "kicking horse" though...who makes it??? L-lew

Anonymous said...

The beans are important, but the mug matters too.
And there's nothing like dark chocolate covered coffee beans to get you through the night!
Joanne

joyce said...

mmmmm.... chocolate covered coffee beans. Nothing like a good coffee talk to get all the lurkers out of the cyber air. Linda... I sure like the sounds of this wholesale fella. How can I bribe him? Can I intice him with the wonders of my dimply thighs?!

Anonymous said...

Well the sad news Joyce is that this dear friend has sold his business, my hubby informs me...boo-hoo...no more cheap beans...now what? I am hopelessly addicted...the store actually sells some really good beans but it's expensive.....L-lew

Anonymous said...

You people are all wacka-doos, what about some good old fashioned Niverville well water to get you going? (Who am I kidding, I only drink RO water) Apparently I am missing out by not drinking coffee. Oh well, I heard it grows hair on your chest anyway. Melissa

joyce said...

see what you're missing? Don't knock chest hair.

gloria said...

chest hair is sexy!

Brian the Mennonite said...

Perhaps, Gloria...but female chest hair?...I don't think so.

mmichele said...

http://www.kickinghorsecoffee.com/ kicking horse makes kicking horse. go get some! it's delish and oh so shiny.

gloria said...

loosen up brian, you never know, you might like it!

Anonymous said...

As I wandered the coffee aisle today I noticed that you're preferred brand of beans is actually $3.00 cheaper than my usual brand. And so, in an effort to get the most for my money I bought a bag. I'll let you know what I think when I brew the first pot...