Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Lifestyles of the "Poor" and Relatively Unknown

I get up at 6:00 am (except when I don't) just to have the house to myself for an hour. Sometimes I read, sometimes I sit and stare, but I always, always have at least two cups of good, strong coffee to kick-start me.

If my hair is annoying me, I take out the thinning sheers and go a little crazy. Its to fulfill my latent, unfulfilled, longtime dream of being a beautician. (is that even a word any more?)

I love the smell of Johnsons baby wash. That's the real reason that I run a home daycare. I don't even like kids.

I don't mind housework. I just hate it when I can't get it done. And these days, I never can.

Although my legs are long, I LACK COORDINATION. Badly. I was the one who got picked third last for all the teams in elementary gym sports. And the only reason that I wasn't chosen dead last was because people liked me and would offer a "mercy-choose".

I pick. My fingers have been scabby, calloused messes since I was about ten because I can not leave skin tags alone. I used to bite them, but now I find myself picking and scratching away completely unconsciously. I was never a face picker, but since Ken's illness, I find that my nasty habit has not been satisfied with ten fingers. I now scratch away at many body parts. Well, I don't scratch my bum. At least not in public.

I have been known to take items from the kids' dress-up trunk, alter them, and wear them as my finest.

I like to throw ridiculous parties. Very not Martha Stewart. This is an arena where I get to be almost entirely myself. I get to meet new people, laugh a lot, buy everything but the food from thrift shops, (the guests have to bring the food. Like I said, this is not the sort of party where the hostess becomes the envy of the town...) I get to play dress-up. I don't stress about what people might think of my house. If they think its really ugly and bizarre, then they will be impressed at the great lengths I went to for an ugly party.

And here's a tidbit that I can't for the life of me understand. Although I am very easy-going.... to the point of frightening people, I struggle with anxiety. I think and analyze and wrestle. But if my life is too manageable, I have to add more to it. If there's one thing I cannot tolerate, its boredom. I have to be busy (but not toooooo busy), and I have to multi-task. Otherwise my blood turns to sludge and there is no adrenaline in me anywhere.

What about you? And if you are rich and famous, don't patronize me...


Roo said...

I GOT PICKED LAST FOR THE TEAMS TOO!!!!! or how about the "farmer in the dell" -- ever play that as a kid. I always wanted to be the wife. "pick me pick me" i silently screamed everytime we played that silly game. !! i decided it was ok (being picked last and all...) that way there was less preasure.... :)

gloria said...

Ah Joyce... for me its' tweezers in the mirror, looking for real or imagined whiskers. I can do this 3 or 4 times a day, my face 1" from the mirror, checking to see if I possibly missed any dark, long, or darkish longish hairs on my face. And I am not happy with one mirror, I have to go to 2 different mirrors cause the light is different.

And heaven forbid I find any other blemish on my face, I will squeeze it until it is thrice its' original size (that will teach it eh!)

But boy, when I DO find a stray hair growing on my face (I have 4 spots that I partol regularly), I sure feel smug and brilliant that I should get those hairs before anyone sees them.

Do you think everyone is going to scrutinize my chiny chin chin for whiskers the next time we meet uptown?

Anonymous said...

I have some sweet scabby scars to pick right now, don't you wish you were me? The itchy healing skin keeps me up at night.
I add more to my emotional plate than I need to as well, I've dealt with that for a long time. I try to put more energy in picking the myriad of thoughts apart (to handle each) instead of the scabs.
It doesn't always work but I want it to.

mmichele said...

i was a mercy choice as well. i encourage my super-athlete son to be kind to the slower ones.

i think he is, i hope he is...

Anonymous said...

I always love the giggles you add to my day...especially when I recognize myself in your writings ;)...I love the smell of Johnson's baby lotion...not because I ever used it on my child...she was allergic to anything that had a cream or lanolin base to it..but because it reminds me of my free and easy college days....when all I used to do was take a shower/lotion up/air dry my hair and enter my day with breathtaking anticipation..I also love that one hour in the morning when everyone else is asleep. As for the picking...I tend to do that on the scabs no one can see...the ones that I won't let heal on my heart.

Rebecca said...

I love your wardrobe ideas!

Judy said...

Finally. I've found a circle of people who understand!

My worst anxiety angst shows up when I hear the phrase 'Join hands and pray'.

People! I cannot DO that!

Suddenly, I itch like a Panama Canal worker.

Some poor unsuspecting person feels their hand flying up to my nose. These things should not be!

Anonymous said...

I was always picked last for the teams, but they argued over who would be stuck with me. It's not like I was deaf, I could hear them, I was standing right there! But I'm over it now. Never think about it. Not for a moment. Nope.

I tweeze like Gloria, and she's right about the different mirrors.

I don't have anxiety but I'm not very easy going either. Maybe the two go together? My sister in law is very easy going as well but gets quite anxious about some things.

Thanks for making me laugh.

Anonymous said...

You are too funny...I may not pick, but I do have to shave my toes...the joys of menopause.....Lindalew : )

joyce said...

Its odd. I thought only the ugly, scabby ones got picked last. And the lot of you... just doesn't fit the bill.

The hairy chin thing... yup. Got some Israelite eyebrows as well. My husband wrenches out the ones I miss. And he says that's part of the beauty of marriage. I also have a grossly enlarged pore that I have to TRY to leave alone.

Actually Gloria, I'm glad you brought this up. I did actually notice quite a crop of strays at the base of your neck..... And the tops of your toes. See Linda for help with that.

As for picking at itchy spots, post-surgery, or of the emotional variety....

I've got nothing there.
I can't help with that, I'd only make it worse...

gloria said...

....sheepishly shaves her toes too.... muttering to herself something about not needing anyone to show her how to shave and how friends are supposed to be supportive and kind and not so cruel as to point out hairy toes in a blog and that she does NOT have a hairy neck.....

Bobita said...

Ah, I am a hair-twirler...until I had no hair. Now, I am a foot-wriggler.

I must also multi-task or DIE. However, I find myself COMPLETELY paralyzed since having finished my proposal. I don't have that now it seems nothing is able to get me going!!

I better add something...QUICK!