Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Belonging

When we are no longer able to change a situation -
we are challenged to change ourselves.
Viktor E. Frankl
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*quote stolen shamelessly, brazenly, from Roofis.
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oh, God. Some days it just seems absolutely impossible.
To change.
To change the mental tapes.
To change the perspective of me, me, me.
To have some positive impact on my world.
To live outside of fear, of complacency, of wanting to be small, so as to not rock anyone's boat.
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Last night after "meet the teacher", I wanted to be uber-wonder-mama and try one more time to get Jane that new backpack I had promised her for grade six. I'd also noticed that Micah; being a mensch and all, had never once tuned into the fact that his sisters had been hitting me up for wallet-opening in the name of school supplies, to Olympic proportions. He, meanwhile was using the backpack that I'd bought him for pre-school, some hand-me-down runners that had seen better days, and his still perfectly labelled markers from last year, tidily lined up in their original box.
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It was time to quit saving money on the little gentleman, and get him some gear.
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Wal-mart was nuttier than a box of almondillos on Christmas Eve. The purchase and return line-ups were dense with stuff-laden customers. I noticed a young mother unloading numerous pre-school sized outfits and caught myself thinking judgemental thoughts about how many practically-new-outfits she could have gotten at a yard sale for a fraction of the cost. I nosily wondered if she could afford these purchases, or if she was unwisely trying out a new credit card instead.
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This led me to wonder about the need to belong. What we consciously and unconsciously do and say to feel like we've got a seat in the stadiums that we live life in.
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And am I so different? The props have changed, but the premise is the same.
The upside is to realize that a lot of us just want to belong, to be accepted, to be validated. So, we have a choice- hang around, sponge-like and hope daily to be filled by affirmations from others, or, fuel up to give and not seek constantly to receive.

5 comments:

Roo said...

belong. such a nice word, heh? we-long to be-long. i long to belong.

i mean i really do. i long for it. a place to hang my hat. a spot where it doesn't matter if i'm wearing the latest style or singing waaaaay off key. ;)
great post joyce.

i was thinking about stuff like this the other day and how ironic it is that in a culture where we want so desperately to be different, we sure do end up looking the same.

not always. but sometimes.

btw -- did you find jane and micah the sought after backpack?

joyce said...

let's see... Micah got runners and a backpack, and Jane got the triscuits she wanted in her first day lunch. We looked through about four stores for the perfect backpack, and she came home in a new outfit instead.....

Anonymous said...

Ruth made a good point about so badly wanting to be different, but somehow we end up being the same.

I was thinking too, how you were thinking the one lady at Walmart could have gotten less expensive clothing at a yard sale...my thoughts were that she may be trying to fit in with the Walmart crowd..and then there are those people who shop at the mall only and would never be caught dead shopping at Walmart. I guess a lot of it is a mind set, where people want to belong and how.

Thought provoking post..all because you took your kids shopping too!

Bonnie said...

Hey girl! Good post, I want to belong too, but sometimes I have my own idea of what that means and it may not be the way God sees it. So, I am forced to give up my idea of belonging and sit back and let God place me where I belong. Not always fun, but always makes me stretch and grow so, I just hang on and go for the ride. Not always willingly, but I do it any ways!!

it's a gong show... said...

'to belong, to be accepted, to be validated...' well, that wraps up my life in a nut shell. although i do have to admit that i AM working on that area. oh to be one of those that truly doesn't give a shit what others think...

btw - thanks for being so kind and helping out the guatemala trip, i appreciate that a lot!