Monday, December 15, 2008

You Don't Know What You Missed!

Even though things got kind of ugly for some people on Saturday night, I have very few regrets of an evening well wasted. First regret......there were about one hundred lurkers who failed to show up. Hmmmm.... I know you're out there....!! (but didn't we have alovely group of people? Just right to be cozy and all in one circle. I didn't have to suffer with the feeling that I was missing out on mini parties all throughout the house and garage
Second... Could someone please answer a burning question for me? How come some people who came to Party Numero Uno never came back for #2 and #3? You can't imagine what you've been missing. And that's all I'm going to say about that.
And third. I was waaaay to preoccupied with having fun and laughing to remember to take enough photos. There isn't a single flattering photo of me in my teeny tiny sweater.
And oddly enough, there seems to be a number of outfit swap photos. I can't imagine how that happened. Such a polite, well-mannered group of church ladies. Odd that there are photos of several people in the green polyester leisure suit. Now, that outfit did not itch.
One Size Fits All took on entirely new proportions.
Truly versatile.
And the Dove Campaign could really have taken some lessons from the variety of flattering and useful articles that came into the light on that cold and frosty night. There were minimizers, and maximizers, spanx, shoulder enhancers, pomegranites, and cranberries.
Oh, if only there were photos enough to truly share the experience....
(you know.... they could be e-mailed to
This year in a truly charitable effort, the event was made multi-cultural. A few Dutch immigrants were invited to occupy "the empty chair". A sort of evangalistic effort; you might
And its a good thing. They came bearing gold, frankenstein, and blur. Three lovely pots in which to float candles, and a lovely maniacal sleighing pillar to shed its glow amongst them.
There were other pots glowing, but one was left to discover this true lavitorial illumination once the Arbor Mist had travelled through the gastronomical tract, past the hummous and artichoke dips, through the maze that is one's digestive system.....
In short, one was left wanting for a pot to pee in when the only true throne in the house had been found functioning as a floating candelabra.

The versatility of fashion was something to behold. I don't know if anybody actually went home in the piece they had quite arrived in. Oddly, I found a number of holiday sweaters in my sewing room when things quite settled back to ordinary.

The heat and commitment to breathing really did get the better of some members, even after ventilation was provided with the aid of the Henckel sheers.
At the end of the day, even the animals got into the sweater swapping. And it must be said that as far as flattery is concerned; it may just be true that most of these fashionista choices were better suited to the delegation of pet hair collecter.


gloria said...

Wow, i look slightly retarded! (sorrry if that word offends, but nothing could be as offensive as those outfits!)

Roo said...

i have no words.
only admiration.

Sheila said...

Joyce, you always have such awesome looking parties! It looks like you all had a blast!

Anonymous said...

It truly was a blast...I wouldn't have missed it for anything. I wonder what would happen if I introduced a ugly sweater party to my corner of the world. Roselle

Melanie said...

Those pictures of Gloria are FREEKIN' hilarious. I love the jumper and that you can almost see up her dress in the first one. He he! Wish I could have made it - I'm always up for ugly!

Becky said...

I think I'm going to start shopping for a sweater now so I feel worthy of coming to the next Ugly Sweater Party!

Karla said...

Joyce, you look hot in that green polkadotty number. Seriously. hot.

Now I'm more sad that I missed it than ever.

christine said...

looks like you know how to throw a party girlfriend.

PamJ said...

wow that looked like fun!

jb said...

i really really wished i could've been there... i kept telling matt i would've loved to go... but alas. duty calls.
i hope next year to go, i will find the most hideous sweater, i promise. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh and how deeeeeeeply I regret not venturing out on that cold frosty night. The multi-colored pant/jumper/suit is what gave me the mightiest stomach ache. You girls look oh so lovely. I'm sorry I missed it!!!! Schwester Mary

lettuce said...





so sorry i couldn't be there

so glad it sounds like such a great time