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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Why I don't Work in a Gift Shop

I went to the thrift shop yesterday with a few dear friends who never criticize, laugh at, or belittle me in any way. I wanted to pick up a few things for my upcoming ugly sweater party and I was not to be disappointed in the housewares department. Not only was I blessed with more festive corsages, and a little more "eye candy" in the ugly sweater magazine section, but I swiped a magnificently ugly peacock serving tray and a jello mold for my "surprise" appetizer. (You'll never guess!) My friends pitched in by pointing out some lovely stemware, six matching water glasses, and a set of coloured shot glasses that they just knew the wondering husband would enjoy. Whilst coralling a child or four, I delicately balanced my set of six liquer and four shot glasses in my deft hands. Then I leaned over to more closely study another treasure. CRASH! Oh,dear. Well, the wondering one will certainly love a set of Three coloured shot glasses, I consoled myself, as the gracious volunteer (who looked remarkably flexible for 87) swept up my embarrassing mess. I offered to pay for my faux paux but she generously waved the ten cent glasswares fee. Phew.

I wish the story ended there. It would be amusing, provide a little smile, perhaps a chuckle. But no. I leaned over again. The elderly lady had just put away the dust pan. I nearly licked up the floor myself just to avoid admitting AGAIN that I'd covered the floor in millions of splinters and shards. My friends, the ones I have nothing but kind things to say about RAN out of the room, not even muffling their squeals of laughter.

The set of six water glasses? Well, one smashed on the kitchen floor last night after I carefully washed it. The second one lay shattered at the bottom of the sink, as my bleeding finger can testify.

And that my friends, is why I do not work in a gift shop.


Anonymous said...

good thing the "you break it you buy it" rule does not apply/ is pretty inexpensive anyway, in thrift shops.


Anonymous said...

I've often told my husband, "It's not that I can't seem to have nice things, I can't even seem to have not nice things!"

I break everything.

You are funny.

I used an exclamation point in this comment.

Anonymous said...

I found a ugly sweater, which also happens to have the bonus of sentimental value. I got confirmation that dh is home that night so... I'm in! Should I bring my own glass? I'm known to be the spazzy one in my family. I lack focus in general.

Anonymous said...

I was planning on showing up, sweater or not! By that I didn't mean unclothed. Clothed. Completely and thoroughly clothed. It's just better for everyone that way.

Joyce said...

Or, you could try unclothed and try to pass it off as an ugly sweater... I know that would work in my case...

lettuce said...

lovely peacock dish.

Still intact?

Anonymous said...

So you are Mrs Brian, eh!
Great to make your acquaintance!
Good luck with the blog awards!

shelley said...

oh that was too funny! love the part about the 87 year old who was surprisingly flexible!! chuckled through the whole thing.

Anonymous said...

I would love to go shopping with you.