Monday, November 19, 2007

Dealing With Conflict

The temptation:
Bite back. Locate a weakness in your opponant.


Locate as many weaknesses as possible in your opponant. Exaggerate if necessary. Round up. Look for questionable motives. Theorize on psychiatric maladies. Begin as many sentences as possible with the word YOU. Other valuable words are: Always, and Never. Ask as many people as possible for "advice" on how to deal with the conflict. Mention names. Stay local.


Be prepared for the same kind of set-up when you're in the need of grace. Don't count on getting off easy. Prepare for legalities. Heated exchanges. Mention of lawyers and paybacks and name-smearing.


I've been reminded again of God's burden being easy and His yoke being light. There's good reason behind the precepts of loving our enemies and praying for those who despitefully use us. It goes against the grain, but there's such freedom in it. The small voice inside is easily drowned out, but doesn't go away. Doesn't stop whispering. Doesn't limit itself to three chances.

Its another reason that I love to work at home. There's a certain stillness in all this noise. I'm not tempted to pull up all the mental filters and blab away about others in the staff room on my coffee break. Its good to work with narcissistic kids. If I tried to pick their brains about how to deal with conflict, they'd just shout for snacks 'n water a little more forcefully.

Relationships worth their salt involve some conflict.
And pouring salt on wounds is not part of the recipe.


Anonymous said...

Thankyou cousin I so needed to read this today because I had "one Of those" yesterday. I decided to confide in a good friend ...Jesus. Your last two sentences speak.Roselle

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, I too have the privilege of working with "those". I keep thinking "I'm a mess... BUT I'm forgiven". OHHHHHHHH, those go so nicely together. Thanks for the visit last night. It was truly amazing.

Roo said...

seventy times seven.

loved this post joyce. :)

gloria said...

yup, you heard it, 490 times! you getting close to that yet?